Lima Loser
by lovinrockinbabe
Summary: Bella is the definition of a loner, having contact with others is not on her to-do list. But what happens when Edward unintentionally knocks her out of her comfort zone? Will he step up or simply let her fade away? Rated M, bit angsty. B/E
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

**Reviews mean more chapters of course. You will have to hound me for more as I'm pretty bad with updating (sorry!)**

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A new town, a new school, a new home; it's just the perfect way to start all over. You can be whoever you want to be when you move. You can reinvent yourself, change your style. No one would know the difference. They didn't know who you were before.

But you know what? I just can't be bothered to change. The whole charade of having to make the best first impression, be who these new people wanted you to be, it was all just so tiring. I'd done it before and I'd failed. People eventually saw through me and I knew I couldn't be anything different than who I was. So this new town, this new school, my new home...they wouldn't be treated any differently.

My name is Bella. I'm a senior in high school and I get the pleasure of starting at Forks High today. Oh and I have a lovely case of Complete Loner Disorder, a great form of entertainment for all the kids at school. Luckily, having only just moved from Phoenix a couple of days ago, I have yet to meet anyone. So far I know Charlie, my dad, and even that's stretching it. I spent time with him as a kid but I was 17 now and I didn't know him and he definitely didn't know me. He seemed kind enough to me so far, attentive when necessary, distant when essential. I figured we'd get along fine. Renée, my mother whom I had left to give her a chance to start over with her new husband, had informed him of my need for private time and he seemed alright with that so far.

Being a loner wasn't started by choice. I had had friends when I was younger, in fact I liked it. I guess it just didn't like me. Somehow my friend number started to diminish and eventually I got used to being alone. I could trust myself so it all worked out fine really. Except for the fact that the kids at school don't seem to like it when you don't have any friends, yet they don't want to be your friend either. Double-edged sword. I'd love it if for once people could just accept the fact that I didn't need anyone else, I was completely reliant on myself and I was content in how I chose to run my life. And so what if I had a thing about touching...it goes along with the loner thing. If I don't want anyone to talk to me, of course I don't want anyone to touch me. People just react badly to weirdos.

I'm not at all interested to see what these new kids will think of me. I know for a fact what will happen. People will try to make contact with me and will eventually give up, thus I will become a recluse for the reminder of the year. That's what happened at the majority of the other schools I'd been to; occasionally it gets pretty bad but sometimes it works...

So yay for me! I get to try out another school. I get to be the new girl and freak all over again. New town, new school, new home...fantastic.

So there I was pulling into school in my so obviously cheap but sturdy truck, anticipating an awful day ahead of me. I took a deep breath, grabbed my bag and left the safety of my truck. I looked around the car park, taking in the people as they passed. They seemed pretty ordinary, not too preppy looking or outrageously dressed. Although I could tell there were some very wealthy parents as I observed a rather shiny silver Volvo sitting next to a glammed up red Porsche. I would probably want to stay away from those guys the most...rich kids rub me up the wrong way.

I sighed and started to walk to the entrance. I headed straight for the main office so I could begin the standard back to school procedure: get timetable, go to class and be talked about for the remainder of the day. And that is exactly what happened as I started my day.

Luckily with my head down, no one was quick to recognise me as the new girl. It wasn't until I was registering with the warm-looking receptionist when someone clocked onto me.

"Oh my god, hi!" I turned my head to the side and saw a bouncy blond girl trying to engage me in a conversation. "You're the new girl right? Just moved here from Pheonix yeah? That's a long way to come. You know you're awfully pale for someone who comes from such a hot place..."

She looked at me for some sort of a reaction but all I really wanted to do was run back to the safety of my truck. I merely smiled at her as she looked me up and down.

"Oh I'm sorry, my name is Jessica. What's yours?" She asked, holding out her hand. I looked at it, eyed it and dismissed it. I simply replied with a measly "Bella."

Fortunately the receptionist came back with my timetable so I could walk out and find my first class. Unfortunately I heard the clip clop of heels on my tail as I paced it to my assigned locker. Jessica appeared at my side as I fumbled to unlock my locker. God she was persistent, were my hints not clear?

"So what's your first class? I have double Chemistry, what a total bore. As if I'm going to become a chemist or anything anyway. I mean have you seen these hands? They were not meant to handle those horrible smelling liquids. So what do you have?" She sighed as she let in the much needed breath she forgot to take.

Once again I stuck with the one word answer, "Maths".

"Oh god, that's worse than Chem! Well I know that Angela has Maths this morning too, so I'll walk you to class and introduce you." She attempted to link arms with me but I tactfully dodged her and just turned to face her instead.

"I'm fine. You go to Chemistry, you'll be late otherwise." And with that I walked off, not before hearing a "You're right! Not again!" behind me.

I paced it to Maths and gingerly opened the door. Just my luck, the class had already begun. The minute the door clicked shut, all eyes were on me. The usual red blush that often creeped up my neck arrived on my cheeks as I faked a smile to the teacher.

"Oh you must be the new student. Isabella Swan, correct?" I nodded and he pointed me to an empty seat next to a brunette with glasses as he continued with the class. I could feel everyone's eyes burning into me, openly judging my every movement. Man I hated the first day. It got worse when the girl I was sat next to turned to whisper to me.

"Isabella, I just got a text from Jess saying how you've already become friends. I'm Angela by the way." I outwardly sighed. I guess this loner thing would be more difficult here. But I was taken aback when I looked to her as her face shined with warmth and friendliness. Not to be overwhelmed with this unfamiliar look, I turned my face down to my hands and simply nodded my head with a small "hi". She got the idea and didn't say much more to me the rest of the lesson.

The rest of the morning seemed to go like this. I managed to avoid conversation where possible, simple nods and one worded answers did the trick. It wasn't until lunch when I realised I wouldn't have the protection of the classroom and would definitely be expected to socialise. Standing in the doorway to the cafeteria, I decided to avoid it all together and just skip lunch, I had to find out where the library was anyway. I was on my way out when Jessica's head popped into my view once more.

"Bella! So glad I caught you, you definitely have to come and sit with us. I'll introduce you to everyone." Once again she tried to link arms with me and once again I successfully dodged her actions. However in my effort to dodge, I managed to knock myself into a passerby who was holding a tray laden with food. The next bit was a blur as food went flying into the air as the passerby and I ended up sprawled on the floor.

I raised my head to see the numerous pairs of eyes locked on our scene. My blush returned as I stuttered an apology and scrambled to get up. Jessica's hand suddenly came into view but I refused to take it of course. But when I was halfway to an upright state, I felt her grab my arm to hoist me up. It was stupid of her but she didn't know I didn't like to be touched; she and the rest of the school were about to find out.

I snatched my arm away aggressively as my face paled. I stood up and growled lowly, "Don't touch me." I had spoken barely above whisper level so no one heard, not even Jessica.

She looked at me oddly before asking politely, "Sorry, what did you say? Don't worry about that little spill; it happens to the best of us! I'm sure no one saw. Let's just sit with everyone else, yeah?" But with another attempt to grab my arm I moved away from her holding my arm protectively to my chest.

"I said, don't touch me!" I virtually screamed. My face then, with my usual surprise of my own words, turned beetroot. And as I turned to leave I registered the shock on Jessica's face as well as hearing a mix of loud murmurs, laughing and a few mutterings of "new girl is a freak".

And after that I knew I wouldn't have to worry about being bothered again. And somehow that made me happy...

Welcome back to insanity Bella, I thought bitterly to myself. It's been at least a couple of weeks, glad to have you back with us.

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**A/N: Hey guys, brand new story time. First time writing a Twilight fic so be nice. Helpful reviews with advice and ideas would be great. Hope you like the rest of the story! **

**Oh and don't worry...Edward will be appearing soon (of course).**


	2. Chapter 2

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

**Reviews mean more chapters of course. You will have to hound me for more as I'm pretty bad with updating (sorry!)**

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"That's the girl I was talking about, completely spazzes out if you touch her." I heard one guy mutter as I walked aimlessly down the hall.

"Yeah I heard she punched Stanley in the face." Another guy excitedly chipped in.

"I heard she's a complete smackhead, made her all paranoid and stuff." As the last guy made a comment I forced myself to continue down the hall to my next class. I knew if I stopped to turn, I'd just see the look in their eyes that would make me want to run out of school and not come back. These rumours were getting to be slightly outrageous.

I completely put this stuff on myself. At the beginning I thought it wasn't my fault my friends stopped being my friends. But over time I realised that I was nothing special to be around. I wasn't pretty, I had no amazing sense of humour and I definitely had no talents...especially of the sporting genre. I came to understand that a girl like me wasn't supposed to have friends. Sometimes in life, you just have to accept who you are and move on. I am a loser and I will always be a loser. No need to change that now.

With this acceptance I was able to march back into school the day after the incident with Jessica. And the day after that. And the day after that. It was difficult at first as these were new voices, new faces, judging my every move. But they were the same comments. I was used to it.

Jessica obviously kept her distance from me. Her nice, happy facade was immediately replaced with a disgusted and slightly scared attitude towards me. No shock there. Angela, on the other hand didn't seem to react so badly. She didn't talk to me, but she also didn't kick up a fuss when I was told to sit next to her in Maths and then later in Spanish. In fact she was the only one that didn't say anything to or about me. From what I heard from everyone else it seemed that the whole school was still hot on my "dramatic" news. It was kind of sad.

Today, however, I let myself have a tiny ray of joy. I had looked at my timetable and saw that my first Biology lesson was this morning. Biology was my favourite subject by far, mainly because I excelled in it. But also because it was the only contact I could enjoy that involved other living organisms. Now that is sad, right?

I walked into the classroom and was surprised to see the class had already filled out quite quickly. I walked up to the teacher, Mr Banner, with my timetable in hand for him to sign (something I had to apparently do with all of my new teachers). I saw him sitting at his desk, engrossed in a big textbook. Dedicated, I thought...my kind of a teacher. I coughed lightly in order to get his attention. He looked up from the dark frames of his glasses and smiled at me, taking the timetable from my outstretched hand.

"Ah, Isabella Swan. I've been awaiting your arrival. I've heard very interesting things about you..." I freaked out for a second. Usually the teachers turn a blind eye to my incidents. I really didn't want to have to put up with gossiping and weird looks from them as well. They were my trust force. A look of shock must have past over my face at his words as he quickly continued, "...from your old school? Your transcripts were outstanding; you obviously have a flare for the earthly science." He chuckled and handed me back my timetable.

"Er, yeah...I guess it's my favourite class." I mumbled quietly.

"Well we're going to have to change that guess to a definite yes." He laughed to himself and I just looked at him in confusion. "Ahem...yes...good rhyme. Anyway as I can see you've got high standards, so I've paired you with our most competent Biologist at Forks High School. I hope you will be happy with my choice." He smiled again and pointed me towards a table near the back. I sighed...partners, that can't be good. I just really hoped this person wasn't a chatty, touchy-feely person. Some sort of a shy geek would be perfect.

I shuffled towards the table and raised my eyes to study my new lab partner. All at once my feet stopped moving, my breath hitched in my throat and I felt the traitorous blush grace my cheeks. In front of me was definitely no geek. He could have possibly been the most handsome, stunningly attractive, out-of-my-league beautiful man I had ever seen. His hair was this bronze colour that seemed so unnaturally perfect and his soft pale skin seemed to shine under the classroom lights, while his arms were flexing right out of his t-shirt. His eyes met mine and I could see these striking green pools pouring right back into mine.

It wasn't until he lowered his eyes that I realised I'd been staring, frozen on the spot. I finally found the ability to walk again and managed to place myself on my seat without falling over. A great feat I would say.

The boy next to me didn't say a word. He just looked straight ahead, waiting for Mr Banner to start the class. I was unsure if he was ever going to actually introduce himself, but then I figured he must have heard all about me and had decided to have as much minimal contact with me as possible. I think for the first time since I'd become a loner, I was actually sorry about this. I shook my head, shaking the thoughts away as Mr Banner started the lesson.

I could barely register what was being said the entire lesson because he had this amazing smell that just kept wafting under my nose whenever he moved just the tiniest bit. It was over-whelming and annoying. I had never let anyone affect me in this way. I forced myself to concentrate and take in at least Banner's parting words.

"So your main assessment this semester is the group project with your partner. It's going to be a lot of work so I suggest you start as soon as possible. All the information you need is on the sheet in front of you. You pick your topic, all your choices are there on the sheet, so discuss with your partner now and start arranging times to work on it. DO NOT leave this until the last minute and share the work out evenly. Any problems; come to me." And as if timed precisely, the bell rang.

When I turned to my attractive no-named partner to at least give him my name, I saw an empty seat. Great. My so-called "most competent Biologist" partner was obviously going to be a no show for this project. Not that I cared, I could do this on my own, I'm sure. I looked down at the sheet at some of the most complicated topics I'd ever seen...OK maybe I did need him. So what, now it was up to me to initiate conversation? God was I lacking experience in that department.

I picked up my bag and traipsed off to History. I figured I'd try and catch him around later today. I was a keen student, as I obviously had lots of time on my hands, so I wanted to do well in this.

The rest of the morning went quite slowly, the usual mutterings and murmurs with my name attached didn't escape my ears. I suddenly found myself at lunch, and after the first debacle, I'd brought my own packed lunch in to eat in my truck. Standard life at school for me.

It wasn't until after school when I was walking towards my truck that I saw my mystery partner again, leaning against the very shiny silver Volvo I had seen on my first day, not parked too far from mine. So he was a rich boy. If that wasn't enough, I saw some blond haired boy eagerly run up to him and pat him on the back.

"Great practice today man. You're definitely going to lead us to victory in Saturday's game." He praised. So he was a jock too. The blond haired boy was just smiling enthusiastically as if waiting approval for his compliment. I realised I was waiting too, so I could hear the voice of this strange boy.

"Thanks Mike. We're gunna smash them." He stated coolly, the velvet tone of his voice just flowed right through his lips with ease. I could die happy after hearing that voice. The boy also seemed happy at the return and skipped off.

He was alone. I saw my opportunity then to be confident and just make the effort to go up and speak to him. It was all in the name of science and a good grade anyway. I slowly worked my way towards him looking at my feet in an attempt to control their usually unstable habits. As his feet came into view I glanced up. He hadn't seemed to notice me until I cautiously coughed, looking quickly down again.

Come on, I thought. You can do this; you don't need to say much. He needs a good mark as much as you do. Just do it already!

"Err. Hi." I managed to squeak out. So far so good, but definitely not enough. More! "Erm...Biology project?" I squeaked again. Great, I can't even manage a structured sentence. "Together. Our Biology project together. We have work, erm, for our biology project." Oh for god's sake, I may as well lie down and surrender now. There's no way anything better is coming out of this mouth.

I glanced up to see him looking sternly down at me. It was an odd look, sort of annoyance and confusion. Well yeah, I guess that adds up.

"I am aware we have a Biology project to work on together. I'm not an idiot." He retorted. I was stunned to say the least, his cool velvet voice held an aggressive tone that would not go hand in hand with my pathetic feeble one. I was not saying anything back to him, and he soon realised he'd have to put in some effort too. "What is it you want? A work timetable? A structured lay out plan for the project? Because I'm sure you can do those things. I'm a very busy person but I'm good at Biology. No scrap that, I'm great. So you work out what you want me to do and get back to me little one. Alright?"

I stood there with my mouth agape as I processed his words. He was not at all what I had expected though I should have factored in that rich + sporty + intelligent = arrogant prick.

And he didn't even give me the chance to run away! Just as I was about to flee, a pretty short-haired brunette jumped past him, ignoring me completely and lowered herself into the passenger seat.

"Come on Edward, the shops are calling to me." She sang sweetly, as he walked round the other side to the drivers seat. Well at least I finally know his name...

To my left a tall, remarkably gorgeous blond girl shimmied her way to the red Porsche next to the Volvo as 2 fairly buff and similarly attractive boys jumped in with her. Before I could even turn my head, the two cars reversed together and pulled out of the car park, leaving me frustrated, embarrassed and highly disorientated.

What just happened?

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**A/N: Hey guys, hope you like this chapter. Edward, has arrived! Tell me your thoughts...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

**Reviews mean more chapters of course. You will have to hound me for more as I'm pretty bad with updating (sorry!)**

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I was angered after yesterday's events with that Edward boy in the parking lot. So what if he was all dreamy and stuff. I would not mesh well with his attitude.

But I couldn't dwell on it. This work needed to be done and if he wasn't going to prepare, I guess it was up to me. So I did just that. I chose our topic, set out the list of things we needed to do for it and attempted to make a timetable. It wasn't until I remembered he was a big time jock and from what I could see a popular one at that, that I realised I couldn't make a timetable until I knew when he was free.

With the last meet and greet going so well, I decided against a face to face interaction and resorted to the lame but trustworthy, note in the locker. It was simple and I couldn't blush or stutter in a note so I was happy about that. I simply wrote:

_Edward,_

_I've worked out all the things we need to do together. I chose topic 3. Could you tell me when you're free to work on our project after school?_

_Bella (your Biology partner)_

Yes I know it was lame, and short, but I hated contact whether it be orally spoken or written down. I know he's going to laugh at the last line, but I realised he probably didn't know my name so I had to remind him that I was in fact his partner.

I acquired his locker number from the front office after queuing in the longest line behind all the late into school kids, and slipped it in on my way to Spanish. I'd just have to wait to get a response later. I raced into Spanish realising I was 20 minutes late and stumbled through the door.

"Isabella, it is so nice of you to join us. Could you explain the reason as to why you so ungracefully fell into my classroom so late?" The teacher enquired in a patronising and obviously angry tone. This was not going to be a good day...I could tell. I shook my head in response and started to my desk next to Angela before I heard a small chuckle behind me.

"No response? Well maybe we should seek to change your indifferent attitude to your school career, shall we? Detention, after school." She announced as I internally groaned and took my seat. "And check with Angela about what you've missed so far."

I turned my head to peak at Angela's face. We hadn't exchanged words since the beginning of the week so I was unsure what her reaction would be. But when I looked at her she had the same warm eyes she'd had the first day, as she nudged her book in front of me and pointed to a set of conjugations we had to learn.

She leaned down to whisper to me, "If you get stuck, just ask."

And with that she was back to listening to the lesson. It was strange, but it seemed like this girl really got me. She was warm and friendly but knew I didn't want that so just stuck to the basics, "I'll be here if you need me" type thing. I felt the warmth from her spread to me but I kicked it back. I shouldn't let a simple comment have such an effect on me. If we were to suddenly become friends, I'd just have to put up with the hurt of being left again. With this distance, I didn't stand the risk of getting hurt. It was a self-preservation thing.

It then dawned on me that I had to stay an extra hour after school now...on a Friday afternoon too. And just as I was about to escape one of the worst weeks I've had as well!

I was annoyed for the rest of the morning and over lunch. If you could eat a lunch angrily, I did. And just as I was exiting my truck afterwards I went straight forward into something very solid and fell directly on to my ass. I looked up to see the obstruction in my path and saw the tall figure of Edward looming over me. I hastily gathered myself upright, fumbling to pick the books up that I'd dropped.

He was standing, arms crossed, with an impatient look on his face as I fumbled around. As soon as I was composed he eyed me cautiously before opening his mouth.

"Bella, right?" He asked to which I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I got your note. That was a pretty stupid idea." My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, so he continued. "Your note? It was a pretty stupid thing to do. You could have waited until next Biology class to tell me your plans, instead of leaving what looked to be a little love note." At that point I choked on my own cough.

"Tanya saw the piece of paper fall to the floor and Emmett almost picked it right up. It may not have contained a poem or anything but they would have given me some big shit for that if I hadn't grabbed it up before anyone realised."

I had no idea who these people were that he was talking about. But I continued to listen, entranced by his voice.

"I mean I have a pretty serious reputation to uphold here. Don't try and mess with that alright?" I nodded, though still very unsure as to what I'd done wrong. "Good. Now in regards to your note, I think it best we do the work on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. Because weekends are obviously a no-go, and I have football practice Mondays and Fridays and I'm busy Wednesdays..."

I just kept nodding. He seemed to be happy making the schedule plans even though he'd told me to do it. I guess he actually did care about the work after all.

"Actually thinking about it, practice is cancelled this afternoon, we could start it today..." I continued nodding until I remembered my detention.

"Err...I have d-detention...this afternoon." I stammered. His mouth suddenly turned up at the sides forming a smirk. He walked a few steps towards me, ending up so close I could smell his wonderful fragrance all over again, making me dizzy.

"Oh well you are going to be a difficult little one aren't you? Detention already, now that's an achievement. You've had quite some week..." I looked at my feet in both embarrassment and because his bright green eyes were blinding me at this close proximity.

"Fine, we'll leave it as Tuesdays and Thursdays. After school, your house." I gave one last final nod and what I hoped was some sort of a small smile as he turned to leave. But then the last bit of his sentence registered in my head.

"M-m-my house?" I stuttered at his retreating form. To which he turned around but continued to walk backwards.

"Of course, it's not like we can be anywhere else can we?" And as if that was a good enough answer to my question, he turned fully and stalked back into school.

Boy, was thing going to be a hard few months. In fact I was starting to think this whole school was a lot different to others I'd been at. I've had my fair share of schools over the years when Renée had tried to follow Phil and his baseball career around, dragging me along with her. Most the time the schools would get over the initial 'psycho' incidents with me and just learn to forget about me. I would always succeed in being unnoticed in the end. But something about the people at this school made me realise that this, or rather I, wasn't something they usually encountered. Not to mention the fact that it was such a small town, everyone knew everyone so it was no wonder they wouldn't be able to forget about me so easily. It definitely didn't help having my dad as the Chief of Police.

And I could immediately tell what kind of a person Edward was. The meaning behind his parting line about not being able to meet anywhere else but the seclusion of my house was not lost on me. He clearly didn't want to be seen in public together even if it were just a school project, not to mention his house was a definite no as it was swarming with what I worked out to be his popular family and friends.

I heard some girls in the bathroom talking about their little group after my encounter with Edward. Emmett was apparently the big burly one. Brown hair and just from looking at him you could tell he was able to destroy you with just a hug. The beautiful blond who owned the Porsche was called Rosalie and was his girlfriend.

Jasper was actually Rosalie's twin and also Edward's best friend; he was the shorter one with sandy hair. According to the gossiping girls he had the dreamiest Southern accent that could "drop anyone's panties". Then there was the small brunette who I had seen literally bounce around school. She was Alice, Edward's sister. The girls said that if you wanted to get to Edward you had to go through Alice and visa versa. They were both pretty protective of each other.

There was one good thing about being so out of the social circle of things. I could just listen. I learnt so much about everyone I felt like I was actually in their lives. There was this girl Tanya, who I've yet to see that all the girls and boys at school seemed to talk about. To the girls she was the typical head cheerleader bitch, stepped on anyone who got in her way, but they'd die to be like her. To boys she was the hottest girl in school; they'd sell their parent's houses to get into her pants.

Just as I was leaving the bathroom with some more new found knowledge, I ran straight into a crowd of people. Confused, I tried to get away. My fear of touching was escalating ever so slightly as they were suddenly moving backwards, trying to move out of the way of what was happening in front of them. Suddenly they parted and a big lump fell through. It was only after a couple of minutes that I could see they were the shapes of two boys in a pretty intense scuffle. Then I heard the cheers.

"Come on Jasper, you've got this!" Some boys were yelling, while others shouted "Smash him Edward!"

I'd just a minute ago heard how these boys were best friends. Why in the world would they be fighting so aggressively? My train of thought was interrupted when a loud cry rang through the crowd.

"STOP IT!! Both of you! Just STOP!" The spiky-haired girl, Alice came powering into view attempting to tear them both apart, but failing miserably. She succeeded however in distracting Jasper, giving Edward the opportunity to punch him squarely in the jaw, taking him down. Jasper grasped at his face as Edward towered over him with a menacing look in his eye.

"I trusted you and you do this. Don't EVER touch her again." He said in such a deep chilling voice that it sent a shiver down my spine. Just at that moment, the principal pushed his way through the crowds and surveyed the scene in front of him. Seeing Jasper's bloody face and Edward's look of pure loathing, he came to an obvious conclusion.

"Edward, detention!" To which Edward just growled at and strode off.

I was pretty taken aback by what just occurred. And for some reason my curiosity got the best of me. I suddenly had this need to understand Edward's actions. Unfortunately I figured I'd just have to wait to hear about it through scandalous gossiping that was bound to ensue.

After my difficult Chemistry class, I was soon to forget that Edward had gotten detention, so I was surprised to see him sitting in detention after school all alone. His head was in his arms as he slumped over the desk. I didn't really want to approach him, for all I knew the anger was still raging and I was not going to get caught in that if I could help it. So I quietly sat a few tables away from him. He didn't raise his head until the teacher came in telling the two of us to get on with some work quietly.

I got out my Chemistry work from the last class, attempting to see if I could make sense of any of it. I may be good at Biology but Chemistry was a different story. I sighed lightly as I struggled to work out the answer to one of my molecular calculations.

"Having some trouble?" A voice next to me asked. I turned to see that Edward had moved to the table next to me. He had his eyebrow quirked as he peered at my work. I looked down at it and shook my head.

"Really? Because it kind of looks like you are." I looked back to him and he was smirking. I didn't know what to do. So I just fiddled with the pen in my hands. He chuckled, "You don't talk much do you?" To which I obviously didn't reply.

"Okay...How about if you want some help, blink twice." I raised an eyebrow to him and just stared. I wasn't going to blink because I didn't want him coming any closer even if it was to help me.

But my plan failed because he started to draw his chair closer to my table anyway. I panicked. But this time it was less about me being scared of a touch, but more to do with how scared I was that I didn't mind if he touched me. I don't know what had come over me, it was something to do with that overwhelming smell of his that always flew under my nose when he was close or the way his eyes held something amazing that I couldn't help but try to study. This fear of actually not being afraid was too much and too new. So I just said the first thing that came to my head in a panic.

"Why did you start a fight with Jasper?" I blurted out. His change in expression from being all smirks to being rather stone-like was just what I was hoping for as he stopped moving his chair.

"Do you really think that has anything to do with you?" He asked coldly and retreated back to his table, still looking intently at me.

I went back to looking at my work, thinking that our brief interaction would now definitely be over and gently let out a little sigh of relief. I was brought straight back out of it again with a small mumble from my left.

"No siblings, right?" He questioned. Leaning his head on his hand, he didn't tear his eyes from me. I couldn't do anything but shake my head. He nodded and responded, "Yeah, that's what I thought." He muttered something else I couldn't hear and then went back to laying his head down on his arms for the rest of detention. I didn't want to try and work out what he was trying to say but I knew I'd spend all weekend analysing every last thing.

God help me, I was becoming somewhat obsessed with Edward Cullen.

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**A/N: Suuuup! Right I would REALLY appreciate some reviews. Quite a few of you have added this story, but I've had little to no reviews so far...would be great to actually know what you think and what you want out of this story. I've got a set plan but I can be quite flexible if someone really doesn't like something or desperately wants something to happen. Let me know!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

******Reviews mean more chapters of course. You will have to hound me for more as I'm pretty bad with updating (sorry!)**

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So I figured it all out. The fight and stuff...it wasn't too difficult. First there was the thing I heard in the bathroom about Edward being very overprotective over his sister. Then there was the look on Alice's face when she tried desperately to tear the boys apart followed by the pain on her face that got even worse when Edward knocked Jasper down. And then there was the sly comment from Edward about me not having any siblings as if saying I wouldn't understand. And then the pièce de résistance, well that was when I came into school on Monday and saw Edward park alongside Rosalie as usual, getting out the car and walking straight past Jasper completely ignoring him. While Alice ran straight towards him as he enveloped her in a loving hug.

I was not the most apt person when it came to personal feelings and human contact but there was no denying that there was something big going on with Alice and Jasper, which Edward obviously did not like. I couldn't really understand it. They seemed like a pretty good match to me. But then again, I knew nothing!

I'd spent the entire weekend, locked away in my room just doing any bit of work I could find. I called Renée to attempt some form of a conversation to tell her I was fine but it lasted two minutes before she had to "dash" because Phil had just gotten home. And then to add to the general disappointment of the weekend I shamefully cleaned the entire house, most importantly my room. It doesn't seem that bad, but my purpose for it was just sad. It was only done because I knew Edward was coming round today.

Yes, Tuesday had arrived already. And yes, I hadn't stopped thinking about what would happen today. I'd barely had time to recover from my last encounter with him and now all of sudden he was going to be sitting in my lounge, possibly my bedroom and just the thought of that sent tingles down my spine and caused the blush to extend all the way to my toes. I was so confused by the way he made me feel. I had never ever wanted to be close to someone before but there was something about him that just drew me in. And I knew he didn't want me drawn in. I'm sure he'd prefer for me to stay as far away as possible. But it wasn't like anything could ever happen. We were working on a project together, what did I expect? He was big time jock, I was small time loser. If anything, I shouldn't even want any contact with him at all...I shouldn't...

No. I was going to carry on the way I always did. Talk as little as possible, refrain from any form of touching and then I could just move on after all this was over. I wouldn't give him a second thought. Not like how I was thinking about him right now...in my Geography class...no definitely wouldn't think about him again.

Luckily I was brought out of my thoughts by a tapping next to me. I turned to my right to see some boy leaning on my table tapping a pencil on the side. Not only was the noise incredibly annoying but the smile plastered on his face was enough to creep even a normal person out. As he saw he'd gotten my attention he stood up and ran a hand through his blond hair. Oh I recognised him. He was the guy in the parking lot praising Edward for the good football practice. Mike, that was it.

"Well hi there. You're Isabella right?" He asked. Oh good, so now he was going to start chatting to me? Fantastic.

As per usual, my head nodded away. It was my only form of communication that didn't involve actual sounds. If I could sign, I would. And I would tell him how my name wasn't Isabella, it was Bella. I hated my full name, it made me sound exotic and Italian, which I clearly was not.

"New girl Isabella. Yeah, I've heard all about you. Tough one to crack aren't you? I'm Mike by the way." He smiled widely and extended his hand. He obviously hadn't heard about me correctly. Me + touching = embarrassing panic attack. I just ignored his outstretched hand like I had with Jessica my first day. He then smiled knowingly nodding his head.

"Oh right, the touching thing. So anyway I thought I'd come and introduce myself. I like feisty girls and I have to say you have the potential to be rather attractive." He attempted to say in a suave voice, though the content of his flirtation was just a little bit wounding. I knew I wasn't really pretty, but no one wants to be told that they only had 'potential'. Not even cold-hearted little me.

Thankfully the bell rang for class to begin so he grudgingly walked back to his seat, but not before saying goodbye, "I'll catch you after class...Izzy". He couldn't have given me a worse nickname. Izzy? Was I 4 years old, really?

I could see Mike trying to get my attention through the corner of my eye during the entire period. The whole coughing loudly and eyebrow raising was just not working for me. I knew I had to make a run for it at the end of class if I was to avoid a second encounter. Normally I had to wait until after everyone had gone to leave but today I just decided to make a run for it, betting on everyone else's slowness. I succeeded an escape out the door but sadly for me, my escape ran straight into someone's chest.

Looking up from my sprawled position on the floor it was my lucky day (NOT). Edward stood over me, with a smirk on his face which grew wider as he watched me fumble for my books. This seemed to be a regular occurrence with him, me fall over and him watch in amusement, no help at all. But then again, would I have really accepted his hand if he'd offered it?

In my own little world, I hadn't realised I was standing upright again, books in hand, just staring at him until he waved his hand in my face.

"I really hope your biology skill is a lot better than your ability to walk. Did your parents not worry when you never learnt to walk or talk properly as a kid?" He mocked, his smirk still plastered cockily on his face. Just as I was thinking about a sensible reply, the person I was trying to escape caught up with me.

"Edward! I see you've met my new friend Izzy, delicate little one isn't she?" Mike sneered. The way he said 'new' and 'delicate' just gave me the shivers and I cringed as he repeated my 'nickname'. I had to duck my head to avoid his arm which was getting dangerously close to landing on my shoulders. Edward looked a little stunned at the scene but remained relentless with the superior look he'd so wonderfully mastered.

"Izzy?" He questioned. Laughing, he just walked away. How does he do that? With barely any words, he can just walk away with such a style of arrogance that just makes you feel _that_ small inside.

This afternoon was going to be fantastic, I thought sarcastically. I'm bound to end up saying something stupid or nothing at all or even just falling over on the spot and he'll laugh, make a snarky comment and walk away the victor…yep, seems about right.

I managed to dart away from Mike as soon as Edward had left. It was going to start getting more difficult around here if I had someone constantly popping up, wanting to touch me.

The end of school came around too soon. I hadn't recovered from my last run in with Edward, nor from the one before that or even the one before that. Somehow I didn't think I was ever going to get over what he did to me. Whatever it was that he did to me…

I realised when I reached my car that I hadn't told Edward where my house was let alone what time he was actually going to be there. I scanned the car park for his face or his car and found neither. I was disappointed. Somehow, even after our small ridiculous encounters, I had been looking forward to today and maybe getting to know Edward more. But don't get me wrong, it was just a fascination with him from the view of an observer. Not the want of someone to be involved in anything personal. I don't think I even know how to be personal with anyone again. With this depressing thought, I climbed into my truck and made my way home.

I pulled into my drive and slid out of my car, of course as I was trying to search for my keys as well as balancing the stack of books in my hand I ended up dropping everything into the muddy puddle at my feet.

"Fuck! Shit! Bollocks! Can I not manage a single day without dropping something or falling over? I mean come on!" I groaned as I leant down to pick up an important biology book I'd gotten out of the library that day which was now dripping. "Argh! Just my luck."

"So she can speak!" A voice behind me acclaimed. I snapped my head to see Edward strolling casually towards me until he was once again towering over me. "And what a filthy mouth she has…"

I was really not in the mood to be laughed at again. Putting my utter embarrassment aside, I gathered up my muddy books, dug for my keys and paced it to the door.

"Oh hey, don't shut up on my account. I was rather enjoying the show." Edward drawled as I could hear him follow me to the door. Once I got it open I dropped everything on the floor, purposefully this time, so I could go to the kitchen and wash the mud off my hands. I stood over the sink and took a deep breath.

It's OK, I thought to myself. He's just a boy and he's just here to work on a science project. No big deal. When it comes to work and science, you can talk forever; it's the only thing you actually can talk about. So stop being a suck freakin' dork and go face him.

As I walked back in I expected to see him sitting on the sofa or laughing at my baby photos or something, but I was surprised not to see him anywhere. My attention was brought to the door by a cough and I saw Edward leaning against the door frame.

I obviously had a questioning look on my face as he answered, "My mother taught me never to force myself on anyone. I had to be invited in." He sheepishly looked at his feet and it suddenly made me warm to him. Who knew the arrogant prick could be a gentleman and a momma's boy too?

"You can come in." I muttered as I went to go pick up my bag of books. He stalked past me and dropped to the couch. I bumbled over to him and laid my books on the table, wiping the mud off each of them. I didn't want a stupid small talk conversation to start because I knew that he didn't really want to be here and I just didn't trust my capability to talk normally. So I got straight to it.

"So I think we should do our project on pond organisms. We can locate the organisms in the pond water and then identify the organisms in different regions of the pond water. Looking at the top layers and the bottom layers we will thus be able to record any similarities or differences in the organisms. Overall the study will produce a–"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there. First of all, you said organisms like fifty times without taking a breath. Second of all that idea stinks." Edward stated simply.

"I think it could be a very intellectual study of–"

"I'm not denying it won't be intellectual, I'm saying it will be downright boring. And there is no way you are having me trudging around in pond water thank you." He said adamantly. I sat there baffled and needless to say shot down. This was supposed to be the one thing I was good at.

"Look, there's a reason why I'm so good at biology. Mr. Banner loves my creativeness and my imagination. And pond water investigations is definitely not creative let alone imaginative. So here's my idea: the effects of music on plants and humans. We can first look at plants and whether or not music has an effect on plant growth. We will then need to compare this with how music effects the shaping of humans and on their emotions. It will be intellectually sufficient for you and fun for me. Win-win."

I was baffled again. Not only had he blown me away but he'd actually gotten me to think that my idea was indeed a shoddy attempt at being somewhat thought-provoking. And this all just came out of a high school football player?

I smiled and nodded and hurriedly opened one of my books to look for anything about music in science. This caused Edward to scoff as he leant back on the couch, looking down on me again.

"Why Edward, what a wonderful idea that is! Oh Edward thank you so much for sorting out our project for us, you're so talented and so smart!" He mocked in a girly voice. I looked up at him briefly and then back down at my book. Is that what he always expected? Praise and awe from everyone? Well that does make the whole arrogant attitude make sense. My lack of a reaction, seemed to fuel him more.

"Seriously, a thank you for your impressive idea would be nice. Just because you don't want to speak doesn't mean you can't occasionally have manners."

It sounded like I'd offended him but when I looked at his face and his raised eyebrow it was clear that all he wanted was an ego boost. And my little sappy self was more than happy to give it to him. How could I deny those beautiful eyes anything…oh crap I'm off again.

"Thank you, Edward." I practically whispered, staring into his eyes for as long as I could before dropping my head back into my book. There was safety behind books.

The rest of our study session went along the same lines. Both absorbed in our work, with Edward talking to himself as if he'd realised he wasn't going to get much more out of me. I wanted to speak to him; I wanted to have a normal conversation. But every time I attempted some sort of a reply my heart rate would dramatically pick up, causing my words to catch in my throat and then choke on a cough which resulted in Edward once again looking at me strangely. But maybe it was for the best, I didn't really know what to say anyway. Last time I'd attempted some sort of a discussion was in detention when I asked a stupid question about his sister's situation and he yelled at me for getting too personal. After all this time of not talking to anyone, the one time I really wanted to I had actually just forgotten how to talk like a normal person.

After an excruciatingly long couple of hours, Edward yawned and started to pack his stuff away. I took that as my queue to stand up with him. I hadn't said much to him all afternoon so I figured now was really my only chance to at least show that I have a voice somewhere.

"So...Thursday?" Was all I could splutter out as he was opening the door, the blush rose from my neck across my cheeks. He turned to eye me and then took a step back inside, closer to me.

"Asking me on a date Bella? Bit forward of you isn't it?" He got closer to me. So close that I could see the fine stubble on his chin. So close that I had to take a step back through genuine embarrassment and fear. He laughed as he saw me struggle for the words, "Yes Bella, Thursday study session. Same time, same place."

And with that he strode off to his shiny Volvo which just made my truck look pathetic in comparison. It was kind of the way Edward made me feel. I think he took some sort of pleasure out of embarrassing me and I was powerless to do anything about it. I walked back inside and collapsed on the couch. Edward's overwhelmingly exquisite smell surrounded me as I lay down and I sighed.

This was going to be the longest and most painful project I had ever worked on and I had the feeling it was only going to get worse from here.

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**A/N: Sorry, I know it has been a very, very, very long time since I last updated. I told you I was bad! Please get on my case if you want more chapters though because apart from being busy I often just forget. And reviews mean more chapters of course!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

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Two weeks had passed and my talent of avoiding being a normal teenager was even starting to impress me. I thought that maybe having regular contact with Edward, through our bi-weekly appointments, would spur me on to striking up an actual conversation with the man outside of our Biology sessions. But seeing as I couldn't handle a tiny conversation when it was just the two of us, alone in my lounge, there was clearly no way I'd have the confidence to talk to him with people all around.

Not to mention the fact that his friends and family were so completely intimidating that they actually started to make me dizzy with their beauty if I looked for too long. And I often looked for too long. Sometimes it was borderline creep staring. I couldn't help it though; my eyes were automatically drawn to him. Though it looked as if I was reading my book in the library or attempting to find something in my bag, I was really covertly looking out for his bronze hair or those green eyes that made my gut wrench.

I had no idea what was wrong with me. Never in my life have I felt connected to anyone, not even Renée. With all the rejection I've faced, I couldn't see the point in trying to feel for someone anymore. So why, when I had such a good history of freezing out my emotions, could I not distance myself from this man? I mean he wasn't anything special. Yes, he was intelligent and he was sporty and I guess unquestionably attractive. But he was a tool, a complete ass, an arrogant douche. I had yet to see any redeeming personal attributes except for the fact that he clearly cared for his sister.

Speaking of…it seemed that they had yet to patch things up. As it appeared I was now Edward's little secret observer (I like to use the word observer instead of stalker because my life is already pitiful enough as it is) I could see that Edward remained distant from his "group". He drove in with Alice everyday but bolted as quickly as possible the minute the car was parked. I always saw him hanging with his football buddies and he acted more like a tool than usual around them. Jasper often looked saddened when Edward just strode right past him as if he didn't exist and if he hadn't been on the football team too, I'm sure those jocks would have hounded him somehow. They liked being at the top of the school's social food chain along with their cheerleader followers and they were happy to push anyone who might accidentally get in their way. They especially liked to taunt me because let's face it, I was an easy target. It was just words though and I hoped to God that that would be the end of it. I could handle a few words here and there but I'd been at schools where bullies had taken it to the next level with me and I really didn't respond well to that.

I had no idea what made Edward tick but I knew that his old group had to have been a better influence on him than those jocks.

I was starting to realise his attitude with me was changing too. He had moved on from the moderately indifferent comments to a more outright rude and hostile approach. On Tuesday I'd tripped over my own feet as I went to fetch a book and almost went flying into Edward. I tried to laugh it off but he just looked at me with such disdain, saying "Are you always this useless or are you making an extra special effort today?" At one point, after I'd quietly commented on something I'd seen in a nature program, he said "It baffles me how into nature you are, despite what it did to you." And that shut me up for the rest of the session. He had a great way of knowing exactly how to hit me where it hurt like he knew exactly how his words would affect me. It was like he was angry for some reason and I was just the right size and demeanour to serve as a punch bag for his verbal bashings.

But I took it. I mean I wasn't much use to anyone in my life but if I could help him vent out his aggression, then I'd let him. How sad is that?

It was a Wednesday today so unfortunately I didn't get to have any one-on-one time with Edward today. It was strange that I still looked forward to it. But it made me feel somewhat normal to have a routine with another human being and we were actually doing pretty well with our project. After doing all the base work and preparation stuff, Edward was going to bring some musical instruments round to mine tomorrow to start on the practical side. The image of him strumming a guitar or playing a piano, was enough to get me through Maths that afternoon.

As I wandered slowly out of class after the bell had rung for the end of school, I saw Edward out the window in the car park, chatting to some of his football mates. The musical image popped into my head again and I couldn't help but smile. Still in a daze, I moved through the thinning crowds to my locker to pick up some books before I could leave. Most people had filtered out by the time I was pulling out my last book but just as I did so, someone slammed my locker shut. I was lucky to have just gotten my hand out the way in time. I looked up from my bag to see a few of the cheerleaders leering at me.

"Oops. Sorry about that. You were close to losing a few fingers there…that would have been a shame," came a sneering response from a tall, blond and very striking cheerleader. The other two giggled behind her in unison. I just looked back down into my bag, shoving my book further inside and willing them to leave me alone. But when I looked back up, they were still there if not closer than before.

"But then again," said the same cheerleader, clearly the director in this little stint, "you don't really need your fingers do you? You don't touch. Your fingers are a waste. You can't stroke boys' hair, you can't massage their backs and you can't even hold their hands. Not like anyone would want to hold your hand anyway, freak."

The words shot at me hard and true. I couldn't avoid them and they were just cutting at my heart. I knew she was right but it always hurt when people pointed out my disability to be a normal girl. What was worse was she was she seemed to be edging closer to me and that made my heart rate pick up a pace as I gulped at the proximity.

"What's wrong, freak? Facing the reality of being alone for the rest of your life? Or wait…am I freaking you out being so close? What are you going to do huh? Run away?" It was like she was taunting me, egging me on. But clearly she had no idea what it was like to be a loner because I could not be egged on to do anything. If anything it was pushing me closer to my locker in what seemed to be my failed attempt to escape. I looked behind the girls to see if anyone would be around to help me if this got ugly. But the looks that I registered were that of pity. As I scanned the faces of the few stragglers in the hallway I knew I was alone. Big shock there!

"I wonder…how far 'til you crack little freak? What if I did this?" she asked as she gently tapped my shoulder with her finger. The two girls behind her giggled again as I gasped quietly. It was a short touch but my heart rate kicked up another gear as my breathing faltered slightly. The head cheerleader got even closer and sneered, "And what about this?" she questioned as she properly poked me.

The panic in my chest was starting to rise. I guess you could say I had these small panic attacks when I was touched. My face cringed as I tried to catch my breath and recover some of my remaining dignity. I looked behind the girls again and instead of pity there was now a curious expression on the faces that had stayed to watch the show. They were clearly interested to see what I would do but I knew I couldn't do anything. The thing with Jessica on my first day was different in the way that I shouted because I wanted to prevent any further touching. But with this…I had no words to say.

The cheerleader also looked around the faces behind her and seeing no objection to her behaviour, she turned at me and with a full force pushed both her hands square into my shoulders so I was forced back into the lockers with a bang. I cried out and dropped everything to the floor. That was a shock pain I wasn't expecting. I looked at the cheerleader as she laughed and re-joined her two followers. As she looked back at me and saw the tears starting to form, she pulled a mock sad face and dramatically turned round to her crowd.

"Aww what a poor freak! Oh please, anyone, please help her get up. Give her a hug. Wipe away her tears. Anyone? No? Oh how sad." She turned back to face me and smirked. "Freak is all alone."

And with that she flicked her hair back, signalled to the other two and strode away. As the crowd saw that the show was over, they too started to disappear. The tears were threatening to drop as I slid down the lockers as my legs could no longer bear my weight. I watched as people walked away and just as the last few were disappearing through the doors I saw that flash of bronze hair I always looked for.

He was leaning on the wall with his arms folded and brows furrowed as he looked at me like I was road kill. The tears finally overcame me. Edward had witnessed my pitiful attack. It didn't shock me that he hadn't said a word when it was all happening. We weren't friends, he definitely didn't like me, and in fact it was shocking that he wasn't behind the cheerleaders encouraging them and beating down on me.

He still continued to stare and I couldn't understand what he was waiting for. I knew I had to get away then. I couldn't stand it when someone saw me cry, not because it showed me to be weak (which of course everyone already knew I was) but because that was too much of an intimate moment to share with someone. I didn't share feelings or emotions with anyone and there was no way I was going to start now. I roughly wiped my face with my sleeve as I gathered up my belongings. I had to leave and I had to leave fast. But as I picked up my bag and brushed my hair from my eyes, I saw the empty hallway in front of me. Edward had already made his exit. Clearly as uncomfortable as I was.

I drove home as quickly as I could. I ignored Charlie's attempts at general chit chat and ran upstairs to the comfort of my room. I didn't cry, I just sunk into my bed and let today's episode replay in my head. There was no use in getting upset about it, that's what I used to do. I used to cry everyday not understanding why people didn't want to be my friend or why I was being treated so horribly. And what came from all that pathetic crying? A lot of wet pillows and unanswered questions, that's what. I chose to be this way therefore I have to take some responsibility for the consequences that occur because of it. I just wished people didn't see my issue with closeness as some sort of a challenge or a fun game. It wasn't fun, it was my life. I could no longer dictate my reactions and it had all just spiralled out of my control!

And now Edward had seen it all happen. I wish he hadn't seen me cry, I don't want any kind of an awkward conversation tomorrow or even further abuse at how weak of a person I was. I could only take so much in one week and if his hostility on Tuesday and contemptuous looks today were anything to go by, tomorrow was going to be painful.

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**A/N: OK, feel free to yell at me! It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I added to this story. It's not that I don't believe in it, I've just been going through a super busy and quite rough time. But excuses aside, here's the next one. Sorry it's so late but I'd love some reviews…hope it was worth the wait! I've written more but felt that this was a better place to end this chapter. So at least you know there's more to come!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

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I decided against going into school the next day. I had tossed and turned all night trying to get the image of Edward's disgusted face out of my head, so I hadn't slept at all. I was no use to anyone in that state and I couldn't be on full watch-out-for-cheerleader alert if I wasn't with it.

I figured that Edward would also get the hint that our study session was off if I wasn't in school. As much as I hated to ditch out on work, my emotions couldn't take another hacking. And I knew that Edward relished the idea of cutting me down to size. Funny that despite all this, I still felt a pang of sadness at the fact that he wasn't going to be sitting on the sofa next to me today.

I called the school to tell them I would be absent, the sweet receptionist seemed concerned but didn't press for parent confirmation. Lucky seeing as Charlie was never really around. He knew something had gone down yesterday as I didn't leave my room or respond to him when he yelled up about dinner being on the table. I was surprised that he'd cooked as I normally did that but I was still too on edge to face anyone. I felt sorry for Charlie, no one wanted an emotionally-disturbed child and I was probably one of the worst you could get. He did the right thing by steering clear, he had work as an excuse but I knew he saw it as relief from me.

I ventured downstairs and spent the rest of the day catching up on homework, preparing dinner for Charlie and generally trying to distract myself from the worry of missing school. Though I absolutely hated school and everything I have to cope with there, I hated it more when I missed work and allowed my own issues to get on top of me and affect my education. Once I'd graduated I was going to go to a top university away from the cliques of school and start a fresh. Maybe I would find friends and lead a proper life…maybe one day.

As I journeyed up to my room, I realised I'd gotten behind on the laundry. I didn't have many clothes but I was so behind that all I was left with was this flowery dress my mom had bought me in an attempt to make me fit in with my peers. Yeah, good try Mom.

I put it on so I could wash everything else and as I walked to my door I saw my reflection in the mirror. It was a nice dress, I looked somewhat like a normal teenager. But I sighed when I remembered that I was far from normal and no clothes could change what was on the inside.

Just as I reached the bottom of the stairs with the pile of laundry, the doorbell rang. Immediately everything in my arms fell to the floor. I groaned at the mess and glanced at the clock. It was only 5pm, Charlie doesn't normally get home until 6 and whenever he forgot his keys he'd go round the back to find the hidden key. I hadn't been living here this long so I had no idea who Charlie's friends were or if they were good people or if they also knew where the hidden key was!

The doorbell rang again twice. Well, whoever this was they weren't giving up easily. I thought I may as well try and get rid of them for fear of them finding their own way in.

I cautiously opened the door, only to be surprised at the face looking back at me. It was Edward.

My immediate reaction was to slam the door shut. So I did. I don't know why I did it but it was just too much. I hadn't mentally prepared myself for his arrival, I thought he would have gotten the idea that I wasn't up for human interaction today.

The doorbell rang again. I wondered if I could just leave it and walk upstairs, maybe he would go away…

Damn, I couldn't leave it. I'd already embarrassed myself but ignoring him would just make things worse. I reached for the door again and slowly opened it fully. Edward was once again doing his casual lean on the door frame, except without the common smirk I had gotten used to. In fact his face was somewhat strained and he seemed impatient. I don't know how long it was until he finally uncrossed his arms and sighed in frustration.

"Really Bella? You slam the door in my face then stand there and look as if you don't see me? Invite me in." He stated. Very simply and very aggressively. It took me aback, he seemed annoyed and I had no idea why. His attitude shocked me out of my reverie, so much so that suddenly I found my voice.

"Ordering an invitation still counts as forcing yourself on someone." I said outright. Oh my god, where had that come from? My eyes went wide as I covered my mouth with my hand in shock. Edward seemed just as shocked and stood a little straighter. The side of his mouth twitched as he leaned forward a little.

"My, my. So this is where you hide your backbone, ey? Under pretty dresses." My hand dropped from my mouth as I looked down at my attire, processing his comment. Was that a compliment hidden in his insult? He saw me register it and after a short time, soon backtracked. "Jesus, I said your dress was pretty, not you. Now grow up and let me in."

My face fell. I hadn't even had the chance to think that maybe he was saying I was pretty, I would never let myself think that. But I was still shocked at how easy he found it to utter these brutal words. After the day I had yesterday, I couldn't deal with another confrontation. I sighed as I stepped aside and waved my hand to let him in. I saw him hesitate then pick up his bag before marching in.

He dropped his stuff to the floor and turned around to face me, eying me up. I closed the door warily and moved to fetch my books from my bag. I wasn't expecting his arrival so I fumbled for a while getting the things that I needed. When I moved to the sofa he was still staring at me, with a confused look on his face. As I set up my stuff on the table he spoke again.

"How do you do that?" He blurted out and it was my turn to look confused. He continued, "How do you hold it all in?"

I knew then that he was talking about my silent nature, but surely this was no surprise to him. Why he was questioning it all now, I had no idea. Yet he continued.

"I can't figure out what triggers you. You're silent, indifferent and reclusive. But sometimes something triggers you to let it out…I've heard it." He edged round the sofa and sat next to me. I was really confused now and extremely uncomfortable with how this one-sided conversation was going.

"Science triggers you. So something you're passionate about. And touching…that clearly triggers you. Everything comes out then. Can't calm you down once someone goes there." He laughed. It was a cold and pointed laugh at my human glitch. Immediately I turned my face down in shame but I couldn't stop the word coming from my mouth.

"Nice." I whispered. What was wrong with me today? Did my brain suddenly forget that I didn't like to speak, let along about something so personal?

"Oh, another word! Well isn't it my lucky day? This is very interesting…so scientific." He moved closer to me, so close that I could smell his cologne. My breath hitched. He wasn't letting this go and I had no idea why. "So there's another trigger I'm missing. You don't have any friends; you don't talk to anyone in school; you don't even raise your hand in class even though I know you know the answers. Yet I've heard you blurt things out…but only when there's no one else around."

I turned to look at him just when a look of recognition crossed over his face. What had he just figured out? This was too much, he was too close. He needed to leave but I couldn't say it. I jumped up and moved to the door, looking down at my feet.

I didn't hear anything for a long while and I refused to look at him through this awkward interaction. He seemed to find this amusing and he showed the familiar interest that the cheerleader showed yesterday. It wasn't until there was a shadow cast over my feet that I realised he had moved close to me again. What was his deal?

"It's me." Edward declared and pushed the open door closed with a simple nudge. But he hadn't gone out, he was still there standing over me. The fierceness in his voice and the proximity of his body radiated through me and I shivered. I continued to look down, frozen on the spot and genuinely scared of what was to come. What was him? What did he mean?

"You speak to me. You've questioned me. You've scolded me." His breath washed over my forehead and his last few words sent electrical vibes through me once more. "So clearly you don't hold back completely from me. And yet…10 seconds Bella. 10 seconds we were sat there on the sofa with my knee pressed to yours. We were touching and you didn't react with a pathetic panic attack. Oh Bella, do you know what this means?"

At that moment I looked up at him. The reality of how close he was suddenly became clear as his eyes bore into mine. What was going on? Had we really been touching on the sofa? Where was my panic attack then? He must be lying.

But no sooner had I been able to register these questions racing through my head, that one of his hands went next to my head to rest on the wall behind me. He was getting even closer, if that was even possible. My eyes suddenly snapped to my arm. He had gently touched my wrist with his hand. My heart rate sped up once more and I seemed to stop breathing. That was the usual reaction, I knew he had been lying. But as I went to move my arm away, his thumb started to move. He circled my wrist for a second before moving his hand up my arm.

Everything moved in slow motion. Even though I could feel and hear my heart slamming through my chest and my breath becoming non-existent, I couldn't move. That instinct and that urge to run away and shout to never touch me again wasn't there. For some reason, my brain stopped functioning. I even moved my eyes to look at Edward. That was a mistake.

They shone with intrigue, dazzling me with their beauty. He was starring right back at me with a look full of seriousness. His hand had reached my shoulder and started to move down my back until he stopped at the small of my back. This position was a little strange as he had to stretch to reach behind me. No sooner had I though this that he suddenly pulled my body closer. The gap that was happily separating us was no more as my chest crashed into his. I had to grasp a hold of his arms to stop myself from falling over.

I gasped as reality hit me. He was touching me and I was definitely touching him. I was overwhelmed with emotions. Was I cured? Did this mean I was normal again? Crazy thoughts surrounded me, when all at once Edward lowered his head to my ear.

"I'm your trigger. Only me." He whispered. But as soon as the words were out of his mouth he was gone. In a blur he picked up his bag and opened the door as I stood frozen to the wall, struggling to stay upright. He turned slowly and smirked. "See you on Tuesday Bella, we have a lot of catching up to do."

The door closed and I collapsed to the floor. I tried to process what had just happened but it was all too confusing. He was right though. I have spoken to him numerous times. Not like a normal person but I have. And sometimes I do have the urge to say what I'm feeling and let it out when he's around, but never in public. And now I could touch him without panicking? Why him and what does it mean?

Obviously I knew the minute I questioned it. He had something over me, I actually wanted to be different around him. I actually cared what he thought of me. When he touched me, I don't think I had ever felt so alive. He confused me, he frustrated me but now…now he excited me. I was scared about what had just occurred and I was nervous about what could occur next time.

I just hoped beyond hope that when he said 'catching up' he meant our Science project.

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**A/N: Ahhh sorry! I totally forgot to upload this chapter, I'd written most of it a while ago but have been completely overwhelmed with my degree. Anyway, here it is and finished. It is a little shorter than I would have hoped but I plan to write more today (of course you can't trust anything I say, can you?). I hope you like this though, things will start to heat up even more soon so if you think it's worth it...keep reading and reviewing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

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I went to school on Friday morning but ditched out at lunchtime, feigning sickness. I had double Chemistry which I was happy to miss due to my lack of knowledge on the subject (pun intended) and P.E which was another subject I wanted nothing to do with. I had recently been made to run around the track as my 'sport' at the same time as the boys played Football on the field. Usually this was a great time to carry on with my Edward staring activities, but this was one time when I wanted to stay as far away from that field as possible.

There is no doubt that I had spent the rest of my time after yesterday's events, thinking about Edward and everything that had gone on. After I picked myself up from the floor, I couldn't get his words out of my head, "I'm your trigger. Only me." God, he had made it impossible to think of anything else.

He had touched me and didn't seem to mind being close to me, in fact he seemed to enjoy it. But while I revelled in this, his other words kept popping into my head: "I said your dress was pretty, not you", "You're silent, indifferent and reclusive", "This is very interesting…so scientific". It was all so confusing. I tried to break it down but I still couldn't get my head around it.

But hey, I could answer back to him. Albeit very wimpish, but it was a start. And we could touch. My god could we touch. But was he right? Was it really just him that I could do all this with? It seems so wrong. Of all the people I've had in my life, it doesn't make sense that such a merciless and cruel man would be the one person I could act vaguely normal with. Well, normal for me anyway. He clearly didn't like me and he obviously sees me as inferior in social standing and probably everything else. Yet he was the one who triggered normal reactions. This was mad!

And if I am so repulsive to him, why on earth would he want to touch me like he had yesterday? It was so intimate and agonisingly slow. Every movement had sent shivers up my spine and when he pulled me towards him, all rational thinking just went flying out of my brain. This boy was going to be my downfall and I knew it.

Yeah, more time off was a good choice. Thankfully I had no morning classes with Edward, which was part of the reason why I managed to drag myself to school. I also got away without seeing him in the in the car park or the hallway and I succeeded in dodging the unpleasant cheerleader. Who, I now learnt to be called Tanya. From my hiding spot, I heard her 2 followers doting after her and praising her for her exceptional taste in handbags. I swear Edward had mentioned her name before in one of our conversations but I couldn't recall anything else.

I succeeded in reaching my car at lunchtime without any issue until I heard a gentle cough behind me. I turned to see Angela shifting her weight from foot to foot as she looked at me with warm but apprehensive eyes.

"Err, hi! I'm sorry to randomly catch you like this, it's just you seemed a little distracted in Spanish today and you forgot to pick up your homework assignment for the weekend." She held out a piece of paper and I politely took it with a small smile. She smiled back and continued to hover as I folded the work into my bag.

"I was going to slot it into your locker but I didn't know where it was. So I went to the office and the receptionist said you'd just that minute signed out to go home. I raced out here in the hope of catching you…and I did. So err, great!" Angela rambled. I was once again taken aback at just how comforting her whole demeanour was and how she never pried, even though I was clearly not making this easy for her.

She hesitated for another second then gave a quick wave, "Well I hope you feel better soon, see you on Monday." She turned to leave.

"Thank you." I stuttered. Angela turned her head back with obvious surprise in her eyes but then they returned to their usual warmth as she nodded her head and strode off.

Maybe Edward was wrong. Maybe I can be somewhat normal with other people. Although, I won't be trying the touching thing with strangers anytime soon.

It was Monday all too quickly. My weekend of distracting myself with homework flew by. Through all the thoughts dotting around my head, I somehow managed to get everything done. I even got a start at writing up my hypothesis for the science project and selected the methodology. I wasn't doing it to impress Edward. I was doing it for educational purposes. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

I knew I would have to face Edward today. We had English together just before lunch. Fortunately we were not forced to sit together for that subject so I was sure I could happily avoid any confrontation or jokes on my behalf. This didn't stop the nerves from attacking me all morning however.

I was a wreck as I gingerly walked into the classroom for English later that morning. I noticed that Edward wasn't there yet so I quickly set up at the back by the window away from obvious view. It appeared that I had nothing to worry about, when Edward sauntered into the classroom, he didn't take one look at me. He walked straight to a free desk next to a couple of his football mates, greeted them with a fist bump and sat down facing the front.

I don't know why this was a surprise for me. It's not like he would want to search for me or have any desire to speak to me in public. He didn't even properly talk to me as a person when we were alone. I felt silly for getting so riled up about nothing.

English went fairly slowly as we were made to watch Romeo and Juliet the whole time. I was not a movie fan. It was all so fake and commercialised. I hated the fact that in most of these teen flicks, the central character was this super pretty loner girl who couldn't get a date. Yeah right. Of course I couldn't get mad at Romeo and Juliet, it was Shakespeare. But I was mad at our English teacher, Miss Rose, for dossing out of a lesson because she couldn't be bothered to teach us. In fact I spent most the lesson scowling.

When the bell rang signalling lunchtime I slowly packed up my stuff. As usual, I hated being amongst the bustle of the crowd in the hallway. Miss Rose ducked out faster than the students and I soon saw her reappear outside running towards a car. I watched as a man dressed in uniform jumped out and ran to greet her. They embraced each other as he swung her around. I put two and two together from the rumours I'd heard and realised that this was Miss Rose's soldier fiancé who had been away fighting in Afghanistan. I looked at the two staring lovingly at each other and chatting non-stop. Pangs of jealousy radiated through me as the thought that I may never be able to have that hit me like a tonne of bricks. It wasn't until I felt someone behind me that I was drawn out of my trance.

"Playing stalker again, are we Bella? How creepy." The voice whispered darkly. I hadn't turned around but I didn't need to. It was probably best to save my embarrassment anyway. I heard no other noise so I assumed everyone else had gone. Of course they had, he wouldn't be talking to me if there were people there.

Once more I felt his fingers on my wrist. It seemed to be his favourite spot and man did I love it. Though my breath hitched and my heart stammered it seemed easier than before, maybe because I wasn't facing him. As his hand moved up my arm, my shoulders slumped in a somewhat defeatist way.

"Hmm, nothing's changed over the weekend then I see. Goodie." I heard the smirk in his voice. "So tell me Bella. How is it that you can stand to stare so sweetly at our teacher and her fiancé as they intimately embrace, yet you scowl during the whole of Romeo and Juliet?" As he posed the question his hand was on the back of my neck. His cool fingertips were slowly brushing the air away leaving my neck exposed.

I had no idea how to answer but before I could, my brain did its usual start without thinking action.

"You were looking at me." I mumbled. I wasn't answering the question, I was verifying something. The only way he could have known that I was scowling during the film, was if he had been looking at me. I knew this had caught him off guard as he stiffened and stopped stroking my neck.

All of a sudden I was whisked around and shoved back against the wall by the window. I finally got to look at him, but I wish I hadn't. He had an angry look in his eyes and his fingers gripped my shoulders with force. His mouth then turned up into the normal smirk that I knew so well.

"Looking at you? Yes Bella, I looked. Does that excite you? Does that make you quiver at the knees? Are you going to go home and write it in your little diary?" He was taunting me. I wished I hadn't said anything and I looked down in shame. Truthfully, that did excite me. No one has ever really taken the time to look at me, not even my mother. But I knew I was playing into whatever game he was playing, so I continued to look down.

I heard him snigger and I felt him pull away from me. When I looked up he was already at the door, bag in hand. He very quickly stopped and looked back as if he had forgotten something, "Oh Bella…" he said, keeping me hanging on. A smile played across his face, "I'm looking forward to tomorrow." And with that he disappeared.

I could tell that he knew what power he had over me. I mean, he was the one that stated that very plainly yesterday. That smile plastered over his face wasn't signifying a happy, new friend glow. No, that was a proud, victorious smile. I know that every popular kid loves the fact that they can dominate over 'lesser mortals'. But they liked to do it in public for the full humiliation action. Edward was keeping this little game of his to himself. He had clearly been looking at me during English, which bemused me because there was no way he cared about me. Ah man, I was not looking forward to tomorrow.

I kept going over things in my head and by the time I shook away all the complicated thoughts, I'd missed lunch. I must have been standing there for over an hour…what a dork.

Another afternoon passed, another evening, another morning. Before I knew it, it was the end of school on Tuesday. Obviously when you dread something, it comes around quicker than you want. Great.

I was walking to my car, keeping my out for the very obvious silver car that held the bane of my life. Of course when I did see him my heart did an involuntary jump and I scolded its behaviour immediately. It clearly didn't listen because it jumped again when I realised my car was parked right next to his.

He was leaning on the door of his car, chatting to that overtly large boy…Emmett I think his name was. But all I could really focus on was him. He was stunning. It wasn't sunny (it was never sunny in Forks), but there always seemed to be some light shining on him, highlighting the bronze in his hair and effectively dazzling everyone else around him.

I was so fixated on him as I walked round my truck, that I suddenly slipped over my own shoelace. I went down, straight down. And if I thought my fall couldn't get any better, I smacked my head on the back wheel of my truck.

The impact to my knees and arms were nothing compared to the pain I now felt pulsing in my head. I struggled to maintain consciousness as the pain got to be too much. I heard a scuffling of feet and vaguely caught sight of a shadow looming over me but I turned my head down to the ground to block out the light that seemed to burn through my brain. I heard a voice asking if I was alright but that stirred something else in me. The familiar flicker of panic rose in my chest at the thought of someone getting too close but I couldn't move or speak to resist.

"Don't, Emmett. She'll flip out if you touch her." I heard a voice say fiercely. Edward. Thank god he said something. Was he going to help? God, this is excruciating!

"We can't just leave her here, she's not responding to me. She may have really hurt her head." Emmett said sternly. There was empathy in his voice, something I did not expect. I groaned as I started to get dizzy. Fortunately the initial pain was starting to wear off.

"She's not responding because she can't. Remember? She's an anti-touching, anti-speaking freak. Don't waste your time, she's fine." Edward growled.

His words cut through me, worse than the pain in my head. I groaned again and managed to plant my hands in front of my face. I raised myself up as fair as I could go but my shaky arms refused to push me up fully. As I peered through my hair I saw Emmett kneeling down close by, concern in his eyes but with an obvious hesitance over what to do next. I looked up above him at the callous figure lingering by his car. I looked in time to see something flash across Edward's face that I could not make out. Whatever it was, was gone in a second. A look of distain covered his features which made me want to be sick. I refrained from that extra embarrassment.

To save either of these boys from doing something they clearly didn't want to do and something I definitely didn't want them to do, I finally pushed myself up to my feet, supporting myself on my truck.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good." Emmett questioned. I scoffed at his ridiculous comment, but quickly turned it into a cough before he noticed.

I simply nodded and opened my truck door, using the last of my energy to throw my bag inside. I held my hand up to my head as a shooting pain shot through me. I was definitely not alright, but I'd banged my head enough times to realise that if I could still walk it can't be that serious.

The embarrassment of the afternoon was too much. I was sick to my stomach picturing myself sprawled on the floor while Edward looked on in disgust. I needed to get away as soon as possible, I'd had enough. But as I moved to heave myself into my truck, a hand started to push the door closed.

"Oh no you don't, you've just had a pretty big bang to your head and from what I can see you can barely stand. Driving is not an option, I'll take you home." Emmett said softly. For a very large man, his words were very gentle. But of course I shook my head in response.

"Dude, what are you doing? Just leave her to it." Edward said, clearly unhappy with the suggestion.

"Leave her to crash her car into a tree or worse into someone else? Yeah right. It's no big deal, just tell Rose that I'll meet her at the café as soon as I can. The Chief's house is like 2 roads away from the café, I can walk it." I didn't really know what was going on. Emmett was being nice, Edward was being a douche and my head was spinning. I tried to shake my head again but my knee suddenly buckled beneath me and I had to catch myself on the door frame. Emmett chuckled, "Yeah, that settles it. Give me your keys."

With that, he grabbed them from my hand and pointed to the passenger side. At least he understood about the touching thing. And he seemed to know where I lived (helps having a well-known Dad) so I didn't have to say a word.

I followed his orders and walked round the side. Just as I settled in, I head a screeching girl's voice nearby.

"Errr Eddie! Where on earth is Emmett going with that freak?" As I glanced through the back window, I noted the cheerleader uniform and blond hair that was now firmly attached to Edward's side. Oh yeah, this was just what I needed right now.

"Tanya, please don't shout when you're standing right next to me." Edward commented moodily. "Emmett is doing his bit for charity and helping the less fortunate."

"Shut it. Tell Rose I'll be with her as soon as I can. Don't be a dick about it." Emmett slammed the door shut and turned on the engine.

Just as we were pulling out I heard Tanya screech again, "Yuck! He's going to need to take a long shower after being in that piece of junk with that waste of space. Eddie baby, if you ever pulled a stunt like that I don't think I could forgive you. No matter how homeless they look." And with a giggle she traced her hand over his chest and gave him a slow kiss on the cheek.

I wretched my eyes away from the sight and stared forward as Emmett drove us out of the car park.

Though he talked non-stop on the way home, I didn't try to interact with Emmett. Not that I ever did. I was just so exhausted, physically and emotionally. My head was killing me and my heart was wrenching like no other. Words and images floated around my head and made me dizzy.

As we drove up into my drive I suddenly felt bad. Emmett had given up his time and energy to help me even though I was reluctant and extremely rude. It wasn't his fault that Edward was such a douche and that I was clearly mentally disturbed. He jumped out of the car and hopped round to my side to open the passenger door…still being the gentleman.

I slumped out and stood in front of him. I couldn't shake his hand or give him a hug but I forced the words out. "Thank you for your help, Emmett." They weren't that hard to say because I truly meant them. His face lit up with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders, walking slowly backwards.

"No problem, just call me the hero!" He laughed and turned around to walk off. He was my kind of guy: kept things short and sweet and didn't linger.

When I got inside I got an icepack out of the freezer, the same bag of peas I always used for my many bumps and bruises. Lying down on the sofa I couldn't help but rehash this afternoon's events.

Edward truly hated me. So much so that he couldn't even bring himself to pity me. It was like he was disgusted at himself for having anything to do with me. And he was clearly with Tanya! How could he have been so intimate with me when that was going on? Perhaps I was the only one that saw it as intimate. But it was such a big step for me I couldn't help but feel sad that it could now be over. I assumed that whatever this thing was that we had, or whatever game it was that he liked to play with me, was now going to stop. He wouldn't be coming round this afternoon to work on our project and I doubt he would want to ever again after seeing my state today.

I'd had enough. It had been exciting to feel slightly normal to be able to interact with someone socially. But let's face it, I was still incredibly messed up and being around Edward and his weird psychological games was only going to make things worse.

I'd have to find a way to steer clear.

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**A/N: Right guys, hope you enjoyed that one. I was quick this time so you can't shout at me! I am currently on holiday at the moment but it finishes soon so this fast writing will probably end. But I will try to get my writing brain in gear and get another chapter up as soon as I can. Please review though...tell me if you think I'm going about this the wrong way or if you have a query about anything, I am a rookie so feedback is good :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

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Of course the minute Charlie got home and saw the ice pack on my head and the scratches on my arms and knees, he demanded I go to the doctor to get checked out. Yes, I was still feeling dizzy and yes every time I tried to stand a wave of nausea hit me, but really? What on earth could the doctor do for a tiny bump on my head? But Charlie insisted. He heaved me out of my comfy couch position and pushed me to his car. Through my weariness I noted the fact that when we touched I didn't react…but I'd have to overanalyse that another day.

I felt stupid sat on the doctor's table, swinging my legs like a child, all because I fell over. Renée was never this tentative but the look in Charlie's eyes told me that I couldn't argue. A couple of minutes later a tall blond-haired doctor walked in. He was undeniably attractive and looked way too young to be a doctor. As I watched him close the door, I noted something familiar about him. But as soon as he looked at me and smiled warmly, the recognition disappeared.

"Hello Isabella. It's lovely to finally meet you. Your father has gone on about his only daughter for years now, it's nice to have you with us in our little town." He chuckled. I frowned at the fact that Charlie had spoken about me. There can't have been much to say. We never had much contact except for birthdays and Christmas's and I wasn't exactly the dream child that parents boast about. Still, I was touched and I took the frown off my face.

"So, he told me you fell over and bumped your head, am I right?" I nodded as my face blushed with embarrassment. "That's easily done. I'm always forgetting how tall I am and often bang my head on ridiculously short door frames." He laughed again and immediately I was comforted. The warmth in his voice and the friendliness of his smile could bring anyone out of a funk and feeling cheery…even me.

So when he reached to examine by head I didn't recoil. All the panic that I usually felt was eased by his voice. He questioned me simply so I could answer 'yes' or 'no' or 'there' if it hurt. It wasn't a shock that I didn't react because I felt like I was in a place of comfort. Maybe this was why it was OK with Charlie too. Well hey, finally I had a conclusion to some of my issues.

After a full examination he concluded that I was still a little concussed but to take some pain medication and leave it a few hours before I try and sleep. I groaned a little as I was already incredibly sleepy so staying up was going to take a massive effort.

He chuckled once more at my obvious grumble and went to help me off the table. Just as we were reaching the door he stopped himself. "Oh my, here I am having just met you and going straight in and examining you before I even told you my name! It must be because of all the good things I've heard from Charlie over the years, I feel like I already know you." Once again my heart soared a little at the thought of someone talking about me in a positive manner.

He held out his hand to me which I gladly shook but froze as he said, "Carlisle Cullen, pleasure to have met you Isabella."

Carlisle Cullen. Cullen. Edward.

My hand dropped quite rapidly and a small gasp escaped my mouth. I was shocked. How on earth could this man be related to Edward? This kind, gentle, comforting man bared no resemblance to the cold-hearted, malicious and unnerving boy that was Edward. I know understood why I thought Carlisle looked familiar. It was the smile that took me off that track. Edward never smiled…he smirked.

I could tell that Carlisle was somewhat taken aback by my reaction as his brows furrowed. But before he could say anything Charlie appeared and starting asking questions about my health. That man has excellent timing. They talked everything through and we were soon saying our goodbyes. Carlisle still looked a little wary from my previous action but was quick to put a smile back on his face as he waved us off.

Back home, all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep it all off. After yet another awful day and another unbearable encounter with Edward, I just wanted to forget. I soon found that this was going to be impossible as Charlie sat me down at the kitchen counter and started opening up cupboards.

"What's going on?" I asked as Charlie removed various bowls and spoons.

"I'm making us some dessert." He said simply.

"Why?" I questioned because my head was banging and confusion just made it worse.

"Because Doctor Cullen said you can't be going to bed for another few hours and by the look on your face, if I left you alone you'd just pass right out. Which is why I'm gunna make us some disgustingly sugary treat so you get so buzzed you don't fall off your chair in the next 5 minutes." He turned to look at me as he removed the ice cream from the fridge. His face was questioning me yet not giving me much choice in the matter.

I smiled. A genuine smile. Possibly my first in years. I waved my hand as if motioning for him to continue, which he did. Not only did Charlie make us the biggest sundae I have ever seen, but he also stayed there and chatted with me as we ate it. The conversation wasn't exceptional, we only spoke about his work, the guys he likes to go fishing with and the changes he wants to make to the house. But it was the longest I have spoken in such a long time. It felt strange to hear my own voice chatting away…but it was brilliant. I felt so at home in that little kitchen, on those creaky chairs, with Charlie than I have ever felt in my whole life with Renée. It may be because he didn't push me for personal information about me. It may be that he never cut me down with a harsh comment or insult. It may be that his own awkwardness reminded me of mine and bonded us on some level. Whatever it was, I liked it.

It made me realise, Edward was wrong. I could talk to Charlie because I was comfortable with him. I could let Carlisle examine me because I was comfortable with him. I even had the desire to talk to Angela more because I was comfortable with her. OK, the thing with him doesn't make sense. I still have no idea why he can touch me and why I can talk to him. But he was wrong about him being my only trigger. It wasn't just a sick part in my brain acting up to confuse me, I also spoke when I was comfortable. That sounds pretty normal to me.

I was elated at the feeling. After a long chat with Charlie, my time was up and I was able to go bed. Just as I was about to walk up the stairs I turned to face Charlie. I was feeling so good, I gave him a swift kiss on the cheek and ran upstairs before I could overthink it some more.

I knew this was my turning point. I could do it, I could be normal, but I couldn't do it without trying. It was my fault that I was so damaged, that I had shut myself off from everyone else. I was right to do this about those that could hurt me, those that have hurt me. But I could not go on thinking that everyone would. Those that show themselves to be kind and gentle deserve something back. It wasn't fair to them and it wasn't fair to me.

I just had no idea how I was going to judge who was safe and who was not. Well, there'd be no need to take giant steps just yet. I knew I could talk to Charlie and I knew I wanted to give something back to Angela for all her kindness. I'd just have to start there.

Who knew a bump to the head could cause some life-changing thoughts.

The next day I woke up with a slight headache but a buzz in my body. And it was not from all the sugar consumed last night. I was excited to attempt to start a change in my life. I had no idea if I could do it but there'd be no harm in trying.

So, on my way into school, I stopped to pick up a coffee and a bagel. As I wondered into Maths, I placed the coffee and bagel on one of the front seats with a small note attached.

_Angela,_

_For all the unnecessary kind things you do._

_Bella._

I knew it wasn't poetry but it was something. My heart pounded as the rest of the class started to fill in. Thankfully no one noted the gifts and didn't try to steal them. When Angela walked in with her usual beaming smile, I knew I'd made the right decision. She looked at her desk warily as if unsure if she was at the right seat. I watched as she opened the note and shock registered on her face. It was soon replaced by that beaming smile as she eyed the gifts. She quickly looked around the classroom until she found me. There was no squealing or hugging or jumping around and making a big deal of it all. She just raised her coffee cup to me and took a sip, rubbing her belly as it went down. The best reaction I could have hoped for.

I chuckled to myself and genuinely smiled back at her. Yes, I had definitely made the right decision.

The rest of the morning went quite well after that. I got my Chemistry test back and I'd actually managed to scrape a B, even after skipping some of the lessons last week. I was feeling so good that I couldn't keep the smile from my face. Things were off to a good start.

I was walking to my car for lunch, because I wasn't ready for the cafeteria just yet, when I heard my name being called.

"Swan! Hey Swan!" I whipped around to see Emmett's large form waving at me. It wasn't until he started jogging towards me that I saw he'd left a group of open-mouthed friends behind me. One of which being Edward. This was clearly not a good thing. From his clenched hands to the frown on his face, I could see he wasn't pleased.

Before I could worry about that, Emmett was in front of me, blocking them all out. He wore a smile as he panted softly from the jog.

"I just wanted to check that you were OK, you know, after yesterday and everything." He gestured to my head which I gently touched, feeling the small bump that hadn't gone down yet.

This was it. My first challenge. Someone outside of those on my list (the list being Charlie and Angela), who was offering a conversation out of genuine interest. Was it genuine though? He was Edward's friend, best friend from what I could tell. He was a jock and part of the 'in-crowd'. What would he gain from talking to me? Surely it would just hurt his reputation. But maybe this was a joke. Maybe I was being set up and he was just out to humiliate me in some way.

I shook my head. How could he humiliate me by asking how I was? These were the kinds of thoughts that set me back. That stopped me talking, that pulled me away from people's touches, that isolated me from real friends and a proper life. It was with this thought that I found my voice.

"I'm just fine. You were the hero remember." I uttered. It was quiet but it was purposeful and it sure as hell knocked Emmett for six. He looked stunned for a second but then let out a laugh.

"That's right, I was. You're clearly not having memory lapses then." He scratched the back of his neck as if unsure of what to say next but soon gestured to my head again, "So is there a big bump or is it a wimpy war wound?"

"I'm not sure really, can you see anything?" I parted my hair slightly and bent my head. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I was essentially offering up myself to be touched, I was so open right now it was scary. But I had been on a roll all day and there was no arguing that Emmett seemed like a good guy.

He lightly touched my head and laughed. "Nah, can't see a thing. Pathetic effort if you ask me."

"I'll try harder next time," I chuckled. Yes, a genuine laugh came out of my mouth whilst speaking. I never thought I'd see the day. Emmett seemed pleased with the interaction too, there was no pointing and laughing or poking and pushing. I must have done alright. I saw Emmett glance back at the group who were still stood there, shocked and somewhat appalled by our exchange. I took the chance to quickly examine Edward's face and I immediately wished I hadn't. It was worse that the frown he had previously worn. It was a blank but icy stare.

Emmett must have seen this too as he started to slowly walk backwards, still facing me. "Well, glad you're alive and kicking Swan. Try not to have any more dramatic falls without me around to save you ey?" It was a sweet ending to our short talk and it hadn't been ruined by the rest of the group's obvious distain. Once again, I'd made the right choice. Emmett was a good one.

Despite the disgusted looks I was now receiving, I was happy. I continued on to my car to have my lunch. Maybe I was almost ready for the cafeteria after all. Almost.

Thursday had arrived.

After the most successful day of my life to date (yes talking to people counted as success for me), I knew I was going to be facing a rough day of it today. Or rather just a rough afternoon. It was time for another Edward session and I had no idea how it was going to go.

On Monday he'd been exerting his power over me, pushing me up against the wall and exciting me with his touches. On Tuesday though, he'd tried to ignore my small accident, stopped Emmett from helping me and verbally abused me once more. And yesterday…those looks. As the saying goes, if looks could kill, I'd be like squashed road kill on the highway.

Which Edward would I get today. Would it be the inquisitive, touchy feely and downright hot and steamy Edward or the rude, insulting, aggressive and downright scary Edward? Neither was a piece of cake and neither made me wish for class to be over. The nervousness and the impending threat of it all was enough to make me revert to my old ways as I steered clear of eye contact in the hallway and dodged the physical contact expertly. However a note slipped into my locker brought me back.

_To Bella,_

_Thank you so much for my little treats yesterday. You're so sweet! I'm sorry I didn't catch you to thank you in person but I wasn't sure if you'd want me to. I've put my number on the back of this note though. So if you want to chat sometime or do something, I'm around!_

_Love, Angela._

I turned the note over and sure enough, Angela had put her number on it. I smiled to myself as I read it. This girl was definitely my cup of tea. She knew that I didn't want to make the treats a big deal but that it still meant something. I guess I'd have to take the next step and talk to her; maybe then we could actually be friends. I grinned at the thought.

I was smiling all the way home until I saw the Volvo parked outside my house. It brought me slamming back to reality. It was Edward time.

I slowly got out of the car and grabbed my bag, making my way to my front door. Edward was sat on the porch step leaning back and eying me carefully. That icy look was still there. I guess this was the Edward I was going to be dealing with today, fantastic.

Without a word I opened the door and set my bag down but before I even had a chance to turn around and invite him in, Edward had me up against the wall in a flash. His hands were on my shoulders, pressing me further into the wall as his face hovered directly in front of my own. I felt his angry breath wash over my face and I braced myself for the onslaught.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Isabella?" He snarled. The way he said my full name sent shivers down my spine.

I didn't know how to respond, I didn't know what he meant. I could tell he was angry at me about something in particular because his facial expression reminded me of the day I slipped the note into his locker and he dramatically overreacted. This however, seemed worse.

I couldn't answer him so I just turned my head away from him. He quickly grabbed my chin and forced me to look back, his eyes pouring into mine.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He shouted gruffly. "I asked you a question. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He clearly wasn't going to give me an idea on what he actually meant by that question so I had to say something.

"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered. Oh way to go Bella, really strong.

His fingers pushed deeper into my shoulders and I let out a little gasp of pain. That would definitely bruise. He paid no regard for my obvious discomfort and if possible he moved his body even closer to mine.

"What do I mean? What do I mean? I'm talking about your little stalkerish desire to force your way into my life." That confused me, I was pretty sure I tried to stay away from him as much as I could because of these unnerving situations he kept putting me in. The confusion was obviously still evident on my face as he continued. "Emmett. My father. Who would you like to target next? My sister?"

He released me for a second as he turned around and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. I was utterly and completely lost. I had no idea why he was so worked up and what on earth it had to do with me. I quickly straightened out my clothes and my hair as I tried to steady my breathing. I watched as he turned to me once more.

"You still have no idea what I'm on about?" He was clearly angry at my confusion, but fortunately he took the time to explain. "It seems that after our little encounters, you've now decided to root yourself into my life by moving in on my family and friends. You played the little victim act with Emmett so he had to take care of you. He likes to play the hero too much to resist. And my father. You purposefully took yourself to see my father about a pathetic little bump on the head just so you could talk to him. It's pitiful really, Bella. What did you think you'd achieve? Did you think after a few little nice words from them, I'd be on my knees begging to have you? Grow up little one."

His words were harsh but they didn't upset me. They angered me. How dare he think that I was purposefully getting to know the people close to him just so I could get closer to him myself. Yes, I was somewhat physically attracted to him. OK, I was absolutely entranced by him. But not on a mental level. Though his head clearly held many intriguing thoughts and the mystery did draw me in, the way he acted and the callousness that radiated off him was in no way attractive. I had no desire to be around that Edward, but he obviously thought I did.

These thoughts made me scoff…out loud. A showy and angry sneer, because I just couldn't find the words. How could I say that Charlie forced me to the doctor who I didn't know was Edward's father and that Emmett was the one shouting my name, without sounding more pathetic? That's what he had expected but my scoff threw Edward off guard. He rounded on me again but still kept a distance between us.

"You oppose? Of course you do, who would ever want to be known as the stalker freak who tries so desperately to get close to people but can't actually get close to anyone?" Now his words hurt. I was trying to turn over a new leaf but my main fear of never being able to achieve normality, never being able to fully let someone in, was constantly raging through my head. He knew this and he used it against me. I'd had enough.

"You think you're the only one I can touch. You think you're the only one I can talk to. You're wrong." His eyes snapped to mine as I released the words. He was so high and mighty, feeling oh so powerful over weak little me. Well he was wrong. I could tell that this angered him as his eyes flashed. But I could see something else. And then it clicked.

This wasn't about me getting 'in' with his friends or family. This wasn't about me being a supposed stalker. This was about him realising the fact that he wasn't the only one anymore. His Dad must have told him about the examination. He saw Emmett and I talk and watched as Emmett touched by head. I reacted to neither of these. He was so conceited and power mad that this actually bothered him.

"You're angry. You're angry that you're not the only one anymore. The 'trigger' as you said, isn't you and you hate that." I growled. All these words and feelings were just pouring out of me and I couldn't stop them. I had reached my breaking point and after all the weeks of insults and abuse, I was finally fighting back. I felt victorious.

That was until the slow smirk returned to Edward's face. That smirk. That cruel, menacing smirk that only meant he was fighting back too.

"That's precious Bella." He edged closer to me, closing the distance as his feet met mine. "You honestly think that I care."

One hand reached out to my wrist, his favourite spot. But this wasn't like the other times, his face was cold and mean.

"Do you think that touching you like this means anything to me?" He asked, gently stroking my wrist in circles. His fingers started to trace a path up my arm and around to my back. I knew what was coming. He pulled me towards him so my chest touched his. I couldn't stop my heart from pounding and my breath shortening.

"Do you think that I go weak at the knees when my body is pushed up against yours like this?" He pressed against me a little harder at that. It may not make him weak but it sure as hell did something to my nervous system.

He took one hand and lightly brushed the hair from my face. Any strands he missed he blew away with a soft breath right by my ear. I couldn't take it much longer, I was about to turn into a pool of mush if he didn't stop soon. But as his face moved back so I was looking directly in his eyes, there was something there that scared me, he looked somewhat wild and unstable.

"And do you think that if I kissed you right now, I would see fireworks?" At his words my breath hitched. I had officially stopped breathing. There was no way, no way in hell that he would kiss me right now. Surely not…

Before I had time to get my head around it, his lips were on mine. So gentle and soft that I could barely feel him at first. I was kissing Edward! This was actually happening. It was so tender that I almost collapsed in his arms. I gripped onto him in order to stop that from happening but that triggered something in him.

All of a sudden the kiss was deepened. I was pushed back against the wall as his chest slammed into mine and his mouth started to wreak havoc on mine. I could do nothing, I was defenceless and it just felt too good. So I kissed him back. I pressed into him with all that I had and that spurred him on more. His hands pushed against my hips as his tongue found its way into my mouth.

The passion was extreme as he grinded into me. My hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging. I had no idea what I was doing but damn it felt good. I couldn't stop from letting a small moan escape but it was echoed by Edward as he groaned against me.

But it wasn't long though until we were both running out of breath and had to part. He removed his lips from mine at an excoriatingly slow pace. But the rest of his body stayed in place, fixed into mine.

I snuck a look at him. His lips were parted and he was panting lightly. His hair was sticking up at all ends from my ruthless stroking and there was a slight blush on his cheeks. His eyes suddenly locked with mine. I thought I saw a flash of confusion as if he'd forgotten who I was, but it was soon replaced by the cold stare I'd come to know so well.

As he pulled away, leaving me propped up against the wall, his smirk said it all. To top it off he bowed, slowly and purposefully as if he'd just put on a show. But that is what he'd just done. He'd shown me that he could do whatever the hell he wanted and I would clearly just melt into him.

"Fireworks, Bella? Pah! Please." He sneered. I felt my defence fall as he laughed at me. "Get it into that pretty little head of yours, this means nothing to me." His voice was steady and his words were clear. I was nothing. But before the first tear had a chance to fall he finished by saying, "Oh and Bella? Stay away from my friends. You're really starting to show yourself up."

And with that he was gone.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! I was a little unsure of how I wanted the chapter to go but I think it ended up OK, although a little confusing for poor Bella! I am going to be continuing to improve on her character as we get through the story. We can't have her staying as the untouchable, unspeaking hero the whole time, can we? Anyway your feedback is encouraged as always and I hope to get some of your thoughts on the story so far. I'll try and update again soon! Thanks for reading :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

* * *

It had been a week since that day with Edward. The details of that week are pretty simple…it was just a blur. Even though I had tried not to let what happened set me back, it had. All my insecurities and everything negative that I was trying to erase just came roaring back. I hadn't even managed 2 days and I was back to distancing myself from everyone around me.

The week had gone agonisingly slow. I felt like I was rushing through everything, yet time just slowed down. I rushed from class to class, I came home from school as quickly as it let out and I didn't stop to utter a word to anyone. Especially Edward.

It was an unspoken agreement between us that mine and Edward's Biology project sessions were off. He was clearly repulsed by the whole situation as he avoided me like the plague. This wasn't exactly unusual but normally he'd sneak in the odd glance or smirk to throw me off my day. Now there was nothing. This was great because I was avoiding him right back.

I didn't want to think about all the horrible things he'd said to me and I especially wanted to forget that kiss ever happened. I'd given into him again and once more shown how weak and pathetic I was. I wasn't just upset though, I was angry. So angry that he'd forced me back into my little dark corner, far away from any of the progress I had made.

It wasn't until Friday afternoon that it really hit me…in a very unexpected way.

I was walking through the hallway towards my locker at the end of the day, dodging people and keeping my head down. When I reached it and started to retrieve various books for an exciting weekend of homework and more homework, a conversation caught my attention.

"I can't believe Edward is still being like this! I can't bear it anymore." Sighed a soft voice. "I don't feel comfortable in my own home. Every time I walk into a room, he walks out. If Mum even mentions your name, he snarls and walks out. It's ridiculous!"

"Alice, baby, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. He's mad at me, not you." Came the calming reply.

I turned my head and immediately recognised the pair. Alice and Jasper. They were sitting by a window and the sight of them almost melted me. Alice's head was in her hands and after attempting to calm her with his words, Jasper reached forward and took her hands in his own, forcing her to lift her head. He took one hand and pushed some loose hair away from her eyes and behind her ear, but left one hand to stroke her cheek. The moment was so touching, I was embarrassed to be watching but I couldn't tear my eyes away. Jasper went to speak again.

"Edward is my best friend and I broke some unspoken guy code by falling for you." Alice whimpered at this but Jasper continued. "But as my best friend and as your brother he shouldn't be punishing us like this. He should see what we have and he should know what it means to us."

Alice sighed, "Yes I know. But what if he doesn't ever see it?"

Jasper laughed. "Honey, if he doesn't see it, we need to get that man's eyes tested. How can he not see it?" His face turned serious as a frown formed. "And so what if he doesn't? The way he's treating you…it's disgraceful. What kind of a brother, shuts off his sister like that? He's hurting you and he doesn't even care. He's just plain selfish. And you know what Alice? I've had enough, we don't deserve it and we shouldn't have to live with it."

That's when it all hit me.

Alice and Jasper were so clearly in love, their touching scene warmed my heart and moved me beyond belief. How could it not? But Edward was ruining it. He was hurting his own flesh and blood and didn't care. He couldn't see what it was doing to them. But I could. As I looked at Alice's tears fall, it was like looking into a mirror. That unnecessary hurt had been caused by Edward just like he'd done to me.

I realised then and there that the problem wasn't me, it was him. I had my own issues that were entirely separate from him and something I had been trying to change. The situation with him was something completely different and it wasn't my fault. It had to do with him. He treated life like a game: if things weren't going his way, he'd bring down the winners to push himself back up on top. It was dark and twisted and only then did I realise that his issues were so much worse than mine. I never hurt people, I just hurt myself.

Looking at Alice, just proved that Edward was uncaring and cruel and that was just him. So why should I let what happened between us pull me back to that dark and lonely place again? I was better than him and I deserved to change.

As this all fell into place before my eyes, I caught sight of Angela walking out into the parking lot. Without sounding corny and weird, I knew this was fate. I took one last look at the couple in front of me, before closing my locker and running for the door. I saw Angela near her car and I ran to catch up to her.

"Angela!" I shouted. I can't remember the last time I shouted, I had a surprisingly loud voice. So loud, it made some nearby students jump. This included Angela. She turned to me with a shocked expression which slowly turned into a smile as she waved.

"Bella, are you okay?" She asked, still clearly shocked that I was running at her. When I reached her though and caught my breath (I was not a regular runner), I was not nervous.

"Hi Angela. I'm sorry, I haven't ever spoken to you properly and I'm sorry I kinda fell off the radar this week but I was wondering if you wanted to do something weekend? I don't know what…but err, a movie maybe?" I mumbled. It all came out quite rapidly but I had to speak fast before I lost my nerve. I realised I had no idea what normal people do with their weekends so I just hoped she did!

That beaming smile that I had come to love, shone at me again. "Of course Bella! I'm so glad you asked. How about you come round to mine tonight and we can stuff our faces and watch some DVDs? I've got an extensive collection so you wouldn't be disappointed!"

She sounded so excited, it made me excited. It sounded like a proper girly night in, something I had never done before but was always so jealous of. I was even happier she said tonight because if it was tomorrow it may have given me time to change my mind. Maybe she knew that.

"That sounds great." I breathed, feeling the same elation I'd had last week. We organised a time and she gave me directions to her house and soon enough I was outside her door with a bags of chips, marshmallows and chocolate.

It was such a great night. It wasn't anything special, just a regular girls' night in with food and DVDs. But it was special to me. Just like the casual, mundane conversations with Charlie meant something to me. As I sat next to Angela, chatting over the movie about how hot the lead actor was, I finally felt normal. Though getting close to someone scared me to death, I had a friend and it felt good. That was all that mattered.

And as I said goodbye to Angela and arranged to go shopping on Sunday, in my head I just went *Screw you, Edward Cullen*.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed with a much more pleasant blur. Angela and I started to hang out more and she introduced me to her friends Eric, Tyler, Lauren and Jessica. I was wary about this, especially as Jessica and I hadn't exactly gotten off on the right foot. But it looked like Angela had talked to them before I met them and they tried really hard to hide their suspicious looks…Jessica less so than the rest.

This was such a huge step for me, though it didn't look like it to anyone else and I was surprised at how open I felt and how easy it was to talk to people if you didn't overthink everything. I even braved the cafeteria with them. It was difficult at first due to all the looks and pointing but after a couple of days that let up and it was like nothing had happened. Well not nothing, but high school kids were so fickle, they moved on pretty quickly.

I hadn't seen Edward properly in 3 weeks. He was very good at just 'disappearing'. He'd been ditching lessons and spending a ridiculous time in detention. It was odd, because this was definitely not the boy I had met a couple of months ago. He had been a spoilt, arrogant, jock. But he'd never been a rebel. From what I'd gauged about him in my first few weeks, he was highly intelligent and everyone was expecting great things from him. But it seemed that that was all going downhill.

Not that I cared.

That sullen, angry face was not to be questioned. He ought to be left alone. And after everything that had happened, I was not going to be the one to attempt an intervention anytime soon!

I was just happy things were going slightly normal for me. So normal in fact that Lauren asked me to come round to her house for a party on Saturday night…which was tomorrow.

"Come on Bella! It'll be so good! My parents aren't back until late Sunday." She whined at me.

"Yeah and my brother can score us a keg." Chimed in Tyler.

"Underage drinking…oh hold me back!" I laughed. Their efforts to get me to go were hilarious and very sweet. It was very new to me.

"You can come over to mine before and get ready. Jess is coming over as well." Angela stated, with a smile on her face. She could see I only needed a little bit more encouragement to convince me to go.

But I was still nervous. I'd braved so many things in these past few weeks, I was sure that the party was pushing it. But I had taken risks and they had paid off, so maybe this was just another one I had to do. I put my hands in the air in defeat.

"OK fine, you've convinced me. I'll go! Just don't let Yorkie throw up on me…I've heard the stories." I said as I eyed Eric. His faced turned beetroot as everyone laughed and Tyler slapped his back. Apparently Eric can't handle his drink and I wasn't about to be another character in one of those stories.

Of course I started to regret my decision when I couldn't find anything to wear and my attempt at a hairdo ended up looking like I'd gone through the about 10 hedgerows backwards. I arrived on Angela's doorstep looking like a state. I knocked on the door but immediately turned around and started to walk back to my truck.

"Bella?" Angela called behind me. I turned to give her a quick smile.

"I'm sorry Angela, I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't." I turned back to my truck and opened the door.

"Bella, wait!" I heard Angela run up the path behind me but I continued to chuck my things back into the backseat. She reached me and gently touched my shoulder. We'd come so close these last few weeks that it didn't shock me. I turned round to face her and saw her eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What's up?"

I took a deep breath. "I've never been to a party before, I don't think I'm ready for big crowds of people bumping into each other, I have nothing to wear and I think it's time to return the thing on my head back to the wilderness." I said in a flurry of words, pointing at the mess of hair on my head.

I could see Angela stifle a giggle as she surveyed the damage. "So what? You're just going to leave me to deal with the animals alone? I thought you were better than that Bella Swan!" She pointed accusingly at me. I tried not to crack a smile.

"But seriously, don't worry so much. The party is just a party, it's not a big deal. Yes, there will be quite a few people as Lauren told the whole of the senior class to come, but that's nothing we can't deal with. Think of me as your bodyguard for the night…I'll fight off anyone who gets too close." She offered. I couldn't help but admire her sweetness.

"Aaaand…Jess has a ridiculous amount of outfits with her which she'd be happy to lend and I am a wiz with the curling tongs, if I do say so myself. So get your little hiney upstairs pronto, I won't hear another word about it." And with that, she started removing the stuff I had just flung into my truck and pushing me towards the door.

When we entered Angela's room, I was almost knocked out by a shoe flying past my face.

"Whoa, whoa Jess! Watch it with the flying footwear!" Angela laughed as she dumped my stuff on her bed. I walked further in to find Jessica rooting around in the largest bag I'd ever seen. Her whole upper body was practically inside it. She huffed as she turned to face us.

"Sorry! I think I've forgotten my baby pink lace up heels." The way she said it, sounded like it was the worst thing to occur since the Beatles split.

"You mean the ones you wore to Mike's birthday a few months ago? The ones you always go on about because Mike thought they were 'totally awesome'?" Angela said, putting on her best jock voice for effect.

"Yes those ones! That was the first time Mike really noticed me! And now it's too late for me to go home and get them, what am I going to do?!" Jessica squeaked.

"Err wear different shoes?" I offered. Cleary this was the wrong answer though as she huffed even more and continued to rummage through her bag. How on earth had she carried that thing anyway?

"Jess, while you're attempting to retrieve your sanity from that bag, could you also see if you could find something for Bella to wear? We err…have a little situation." Angela eyed me up and down, taking in my baggy jeans and hoodie with a disapproving look. Soon Jessica was up on her feet doing the same thing.

"Dear God Bella! It's like you don't know how to be a girl." She accused, but slapped her hand over her mouth as she saw my face drop. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Let me see if I have something a little more…dressy?"

Jessica often let her words just slip out and sometimes they could be quite brutal. But she was right, I had no idea what I was doing. I missed the real 'teen discovery' years. I didn't do the makeup lessons, the chats about how to flirt with boys or the copious amounts of shopping trips. Renée was too busy for that and I had lost all friends by then.

So I was happy to listen to Jessica rant and rave about what colour goes with what skintone. I was happy to let her and Angela dress me and pluck me and paint me. I was happy to let her play with me like a doll.

I was happy until I saw myself in the mirror.

I liked the makeup on my face, it was very natural and thankfully a lot more toned down than the stuff on Jessica's face…I would call that war paint ready for battle. I liked the loose waves that Angela had styled my hair into. It even looked glossy which was something I never knew it could do.

But the outfit? Jessica had squeezed me into this skin-tight, bright red, bodycon dress. I was so uncomfortable, I kept fiddling with the hem trying to pull it down lower but that succeeded in exposing my boobs more. I couldn't win.

I shook my head at them and pointed to the dress. "This has got to go. I look like a hooker! It's too much!" I squeaked. My obvious discomfort was evident in my voice.

"What are you talking about? You look hot! Like seriously Bella, who knew you had this body!" Jessica clapped, obviously excited by her creation. But I was still having none of it.

"Either you lend me another dress to wear or I'm not going." I stated my ultimatum very bluntly and very confidently. Because I was confident I was not going to be wearing that dress.

"Although I do agree with Jess when I say you look hot in that outfit, it may be a little too much for your first party. Maybe we'll save that for a special occasion!" Angela laughed, registering my sigh of relief and Jessica's groan of disapproval. Angela went over to her own closet and retrieved a much more appealing jeans and top combination. Though when I tried the black jeans on they were still decidedly too skinny and the blue top that hung off one shoulder only just covered my stomach. But I dealt on this because it was ten times better than the dress.

As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I was reminded of the feeling I'd had when I wore the summery dress the day Edward first 'had fun' with me. Who knew an outfit could make you feel so good? It was a shame it bought back the memories of _him_ but what are you gunna do?

My new look achieved wolf whistles from the girls and an 'Oh don't you girls look lovely!' from Angela's mother as we jumped into Jessica's car.

As we neared Lauren's house, the bundle of nerves that I'd been controlling went spiralling out of control. There were more cars there than I had thought there'd be which meant more people. Which meant more of a chance for me to snap back to old me and fully embarrass myself in front of the whole senior class…again.

As I was about to voice my concerns and ask to be dropped back home, Angela turned in the front seat to face me. She looked at my face and smiled comfortingly, reaching to place a hand over mine.

"Anytime you wanna leave, I'll go with you, no questions asked." And with a quick squeeze of my hand I was instantly calmed, though not to full comfort zone.

We entered the house as a trio and immediately we heard a squeal from Lauren.

"GIRLS! Am I happy to see you!" She slumped into us as her legs failed her during the running hug. She lifted her head to smile at us. "I got started a little early on Tyler's keg…I think that may have been a mistake."

The slurring of Lauren's words caused us to raise our eyebrows at each other and escort her to the nearest couch. She very ungracefully plopped down, somehow still holding a red cup upright.

"You guys go, enjoy the partaaaay. It's fucking fantastic, if I do say so myself. Oh hey, you!" She suddenly pointed at me with her red cup filled hand. "You look fucking fantastic, if I do say so myself."

And with that nonsensical shout, she rested her head down on a cushion and closed her eyes. We all burst out laughing. I worried though that this was usual behaviour for a party and was everyone going to be so brazen all night long? Angela grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the kitchen, not even looking back to the Lauren mess behind us.

"Don't worry about her, she always peaks a little too early." Angela giggled. "You've always got to have that friend in your group to make the rest of us look mildly respectable!"

All of a sudden we were drawn into the mayhem of the roaring party. Music was blaring in the nearby room as guys and girls danced fairly erotically with each other. As we entered the kitchen, some boys were playing beer bong across the table while girls cheered on the sidelines. Essentially, everything I had seen in those terrible teen movies had been correct and I was right to be afraid. Everyone was a mess.

Jessica had gone ahead of us and came back grasping the infamous red cups in her hand, thrusting them to us. I took it gingerly, looking to Angela for encouragement. I hadn't really drunk properly before, unless you count the odd glass of wine at Christmas. I turned to see her quickly down her drink without regret, so I followed suit. If I wanted to fit in, I'd have to join 'em right?

Soon we were dancing like the rest of the fools. We found a wide space and with copious amounts of drinks in us, we danced like there was no tomorrow. Angela hadn't left my side, like she had promised, and I was grateful. The alcohol was doing a great job acting as fuel for my confidence, though. I suddenly didn't mind if someone accidently brushed my arm as we jumped around the room.

We laughed as we watched Jess totter very shakily towards Mike, ranting about not finding 'those baby-pink lace up heels that he'd liked the last time'. Mike looked bemused but let her carry on anyway, grinning wildly as she pressed her chest into his and fluttered her eyelashes.

I was definitely learning a thing or two about flirting. Having never tried before, I could tell that guys liked a lot of it and right up in their faces. Whatever 'it' was, anyway. I was definitely not going to practice tonight, however. I wasn't there yet. I was mainly trying to focus on not letting my eyes search for Edward as they so often did. I had no idea if he was here, if this was the kind of party he'd go to or why I even cared. I pushed it all out of my head and concentrated on the music, this dancing and drinking thing wasn't so difficult after all.

Hours later and after about my sixth or maybe it was my seventh cup, I started to feel a wave of nausea take over me. Maybe I'd found my limit. The room was starting to look a little wobbly and my legs were doing a jelly-like performance. I told Angela I needed a little air and she offered to go with me. But I saw the guy, Ben, that she'd been raving about recently, dancing decidedly close to where we were and offering furtive glances her way. So I told her to stay and slyly pointed in his direction. To which she blushed and tapped me away.

I stumbled out onto the porch. Looking to my right I saw a couple attached at the mouth and pretty much just going for it, so I manoeuvred myself to the left and onto a swinging bench.

I immediately regretted my decision as the combination of the drink and the swing of the bench made my stomach lurch and I grasped hold of the rope in earnest.

"Stop, stop, stop. Bad idea, swing. Bad idea." I muttered to myself, the drink had clearly debilitated me.

I heard a light giggle next to me. I peeked up from the rope and frowned at a tiny shadow on the steps of the porch. I focussed my eyes and realised it was Alice Cullen. Her pretty features shone in the light as she smiled brightly in my direction, clearly amused at my state. But the sight of one Cullen bought back memories of the other and I groaned as another wave of nausea went through me.

"Are you alright?" She asked sympathetically.

I mumbled in response, clearly words were failing me at this point.

"You don't look so great. Have you been on Lauren's punch too? My friend, Rose has been a victim of that tonight as well." Alice said; her voice clear and bright. Clearly, she hadn't been drinking like the rest of us.

"To be honest, I don't know what I've been drinking." I slurred. Laughing at how terrible that sounded. Thankfully, Alice laughed along with me.

"I guess a red cup is a red cup to most people." She laughed, but still with a note of care in her voice.

"I'm just trying to fit in. I have no idea what I'm doing." I blurted out. Wow, alcohol obviously disrupts my usual filter…that was slightly worrying.

"I hate to break it to you, lovely, but no one knows what they're doing. We all just play along with whatever 'the norm' is."

"Well you do. Normal isn't exactly where my skills lie. But I think that's very much obvious to everyone." I blabbered; I seriously couldn't stop talking rubbish.

Alice pushed herself up off the steps and wondered over to my swinging bench. She perched gently so as not to rock me any further, for which I was grateful.

"You're Bella, right? I'm Alice Cullen." She didn't offer her hand. If she knew my name, she must know ALL about me.

"I know. You're Edward's sister." I suddenly blurted. Oh my god, I just couldn't stop! Why did I have to say that? Quick…need to backtrack. "I mean, you're a Cullen, soooo you must be his sister. Not that I know him. Not that I've spoken to him. Not that…"

I managed to stuff my right hand into my mouth before I said anything else. Thankfully, Alice hadn't caught onto my rant. It seemed the minute I mentioned Edward, her face fell and her mind was somewhere else.

"I'm sorry, I'm drunk. I'm not sure what I'm saying and I think I may have lost my shoe." I looked down. Yes, I was only wearing one shoe.

Alice laughed again and the smile was vaguely back. "No, you're fine. You've probably heard all the rumours about our supposed scandal, so it's no wonder your first thought was to him." Yeah, that was the reason why I thought about him. Cough, cough.

She sighed heavily but continued, "He's just a big selfish idiot. He really is. He needs to get it into that thick head of his that the world does not revolve around him and his wants and needs." Of course I knew what she was talking about so I nodded along, trying not to give my emotions away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't rant to you; I don't even know you. I'm just so frustrated! I mean I'm out here now, in the freezing cold, avoiding him. How pathetic. My own brother, making me feel so alone." She put her head in her hands and sighed. I couldn't help but raise my hand to stroke her back slightly in what I hoped was a gesture of kindness. Even in this state she just gave off this warm, comforting aura and clearly I wasn't following my own rules tonight anyway.

"You're close." I mumbled. She raised her head slowly and smiled at me, nodding. "That's why you feel like this. You care, he cares, and that's the big problem." I know what I was saying probably didn't make much sense but she listened anyway. "People act out when they feel betrayed, even if it isn't logical. He just thinks he's not as special in your life as he was before and he's punishing you for his own feelings. It's irrational, but a temperament like his can't be explained. He's making you feel alone because he feels alone."

Alice looked at me stunned. She shook her head slightly but smiled and took one of my hands. It surprised me but I didn't react to it.

"You have some really amazing insight there, Bella. Like really. Very deep, rational. It sounds like you really know him." Her eyes and tone questioned me and I quickly looked away in an attempt to hide whatever feelings were fluttering across my face at the time.

"Oh, I err guess I've just learnt a lot from being on the outskirts of life most of the time." I lied.

"Well you've got a good head on you. Sounds like you should leave the outskirts and get involved more in life; we could do with more people like you." She squeezed my hand.

"Well, I am trying." I grumbled and grabbed my stomach as it lurched again.

She laughed and went to get up. "Maybe do it with less alcohol next time, I don't think you need it." She walked gracefully to the door but stopped as she was about to pull it open. She looked to me again, "Thanks Bella, for listening. I think it's time I really talk to him, even if it's just me doing the talking." She laughed lightly and disappeared inside.

What I had said to her rang true to my own issues with Edward. A part of me hoped he acted the way he did with me because he cared and because he wanted to be the only special one who could touch me. But I knew I was fooling myself, he'd told me that wasn't the case.

I then had a horrible realisation that I'd been talking to Edward's sister.

No, I'm not being dense, it just hadn't properly dawned on me that I'd been talking to his sister. I knew I was talking to Alice Cullen, but she was also Edward's sister…EDWARD'S SISTER.

Oh crap, he wasn't going to like that.

I pondered the possible outcomes of this for a while. Would there be complete avoidance as was usual for Edward? Could there be another confrontation like the last time? If so, did this mean more kissing? I shivered at the thought. More so in trepidation than in disgust; I wasn't sure I could go through that again.

And as if the world heard my woes and sought to punish me more, I felt the lurch of the bench as it was pushed suddenly forward. I slipped off and rolled to the floor in a slump, groaning as I went.

I heard a sharp laugh behind me and recognised it immediately.

"Jesus, Bella. I was going for a scare; I didn't know you had completely lost all normal functioning of your body. But I guess normal is the obvious word there." Edward sneered as he made no attempt to help me up.

I lifted my head to glare at him as I pushed myself up and slowly walked away down the steps and out onto the front lawn. I was not in the mood for another emotional clash, especially as I was mid-panic about what he would do or say if he knew I was talking to another one of his family members. Luckily, from the look in his eyes, I could tell he hadn't clocked that I'd been talking to Alice just 10 minutes beforehand…about him.

I still sought to get away though. I didn't trust the man. I also didn't trust myself not to blurt it out like I seemed to be very good at this evening.

I tried very hard to keep my head up but soon found it difficult as I couldn't see where the hell I was going as I moved further away from the light of the house. Was that a forest in front of me?

"I do hope you're not running away from me, Bella." He breathed, my name rolling off his tongue with a ridiculously seductive note. His voice came from right beside me, giving me such a fright that I squeaked like a little girl and stopped in my tracks.

His chuckle resonated through me and I felt him move closer. It was dark so his face wasn't clear but I could just about make out the outline of his body as it neared me, I felt like prey being stalked. The comparison seemed highly appropriate for the situation.

The very idea of him being close to me sent shivers down my spine and I thought back to the memory of us the last time we were together alone. That was a silly mistake to make as I started to feel lightheaded. I forced myself to remember my feelings after the event and all the other times he'd made me feel so small: I was angry.

I drunkenly grumbled to myself and turned to walk a different way where I knew he wouldn't be. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold in the anger for much longer. But he caught my wrist (in that damn spot again) before I could run off. I was immobilised for a second.

"Oh you are trying to get away. This is new." I could hear the sneer in his voice. It encouraged me to try to tug my arm free, but he just grasped tighter. He swung me around until I stumbled into him, bracing myself on his chest for support. Big mistake. His scent filled my nose and I almost lost myself completely. I felt his breath at my ear as he whispered, "Didn't you miss me, little one?"

I couldn't help but whimper against him. How weak, where had my anger gone? Oh wait, I found it again, there it was…hurt, frustration, infuriation. I pushed him back as I made another attempt to walk away. He was so surprised he even stumbled back a few paces so I could make a good distance between us.

But still, I heard his voice following me.

"Are you upset I didn't call?" he joked in a sad voice. He was getting nearer, so I sped up my walk.

"Are you annoyed that I missed a couple of our special sessions together?" The way he said special sessions, made me groan in understanding of its less savoury meaning.

"Or maybe you're just frustrated." His voice was even closer now. "Frustrated that I left you high and dry. Did you want more, Bella? Did I leave you craving me so much that you can't even speak now?"

His last comment made me jolt to a stop. How dare he be so shameless? He had wanted to leave a trail of destruction in his wake like every other bully before him had but he'd unintentionally made me bolder. I could talk now, I could touch now, and I had friends now. It made me want to laugh…so I did.

"Speak? Oh I can speak, Edward. I'm just not sure I want to waste my breath on you." I barked and I immediately heard him come to a stop behind me as I swung around to face his general direction.

He didn't say a word and the silence created made me more frustrated.

"You're oblivious to everyone around you, aren't you? I've changed Edward. I have friends now and I'm actually trying to make an effort to be different. And that's down to you, Edward. I had a serious amount of problems before I met you which anyone who's ever met me has always reminded me of. But _you_, you had me believing that you were the only one who could bring the human inside of me, out. You made me feel like only you had the ability to make me normal. You knew that and you played on that. It wasn't until I realised I could do it without you that I finally started to do something about my life. It was then that I could see what a messed up life you actually lead. It's all fake. You've pushed away anyone who actually gives a shit about you and you call me the loner? You're the one who's all alone. So there, is that enough for you? You discard me for almost a month and now you want me to speak, Edward? Oh I can speak…just try me." I let out a huge breath in relief as all the words just flooded out of me.

If I hadn't heard the faint pant of his breath, I would have started to believe that he'd left. There was only silence after my rant and as the seconds passed, the relief that I originally felt was starting to turn to frustration again. He was there; I could hear him, so why hadn't he reacted? I would never have thought he'd have let me get away with that and this empty reaction was killing me.

I outwardly groaned again and I think I actually stomped my foot.

"What are you doing, Edward?! Have you nothing to say to me now? Can't think of a good enough insult to fire at me? Why don't you just call for your cheerleader friends to come and beat me up then?" I growled.

Still there was silence.

"I know you want to hurt me. Come on! Cut me down to size. Say something, dammit!"

Still silence. I was getting even more wound up with each second that came and went, I felt like I was about to pass out from the tension. I could not understand what was happening, what he was doing. I had lashed out to a pretty intense degree so he should be doing something about it.

I guess in true Edward form, he had found it very easy to make me feel so small and degraded. This time he'd done it without any words and it was made even easier for him by the fact that I couldn't even see his face. I felt drained as the anger started to fade and the tears started to form.

I asked the only question I had left in me to ask as a tear rolled down my hot cheek.

"Why are you even here?" I whispered.

The sound of leaves under foot started as I saw Edward's vague outline near me again. I whimpered in defeat and waited for the onslaught as he stopped directly in front of me, his breath washing over me.

His hands were on my face, gently stroking the tears from my cheeks, when a whispered reply came, "Because you're here."

His mouth then descended slowly onto mine.

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**A/N: Hello! I know my apologies don't mean much anymore, as you have probably grown to expect a slow update from me, but I am sorry it has taken me so long again! I hope this chapter was worth it and I can definitely say that an intense chapter more focussed on Edward and Bella will follow this. **

**This one was mainly focussed on Bella's change and then introducing Alice a little more to the story. I hope I've managed to stay true to Bella's character and not change her completely. She's still a very angsty mess, don't worry!**

**I hope you enjoyed it anyway, tell me what you think :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

* * *

_Previously:_

"_Why are you even here?" I whispered._

_The sound of leaves under foot started as I saw Edward's vague outline near me again. I whimpered in defeat and waited for the onslaught as he stopped directly in front of me, his breath washing over me._

_His hands were on my face, gently stroking the tears from my cheeks, when a whispered reply came, "Because you're here."_

_His mouth then descended slowly onto mine._

I didn't have time to register what was happening. He was kissing me. Again.

It was like the first time, soft and gentle. His hands were placed on the small of my back as he held my body gently to his as he devoured me. Everything was so light I felt like I would faint.

I struggled with the demons in my head for a good minute before I truly started to respond. I knew I shouldn't but after my rather powerful spiel I'd just broken down. I was already at the bottom, why not just go with it and make things worse for myself, being self-destructive was in my nature after all.

With this thought, I began to gain feeling back into my limp arms as I reached up for where I thought his head would be. My fingers graced the back of his neck gently at the base of his hair as they went higher, slowly gripping onto his soft locks and kneading my fingers through. This seemed to ignite something in Edward as with a soft groan, the miniscule space between us became non-existent.

He grabbed my hips, rubbing with his fingers and then caressing up and down my sides. I was suddenly grateful for wearing a top instead of a dress as I soon felt his cold digits tracing under my top and along my ribs. The sensation was amazing, never had I ever felt such pleasure of bare flesh on bare flesh. It almost made me want to take the whole thing off. But I managed to stop myself.

I concentrated back on what his glorious mouth was doing to mine. His soft kisses turned insistent and we groaned together. I started to feel a need for something I'd never felt before and I wasn't sure what that something was. I just know it resonated through my whole body making me cling to Edward's upper arms with force. It wasn't until I heard Edward hiss that I realised I'd been digging my nails in.

He pulled away slightly and immediately a sense of fear and shame ran through me. He settled me back down on my feet (apparently I'd somehow been lifted up through the mayhem) but didn't let me go. All I could hear was our unsteady breaths as Edward's nose brushed against mine. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair away from my face. Immediately I was reminded of Jasper and Alice's touching moment and new feelings started to spread through me.

"Be careful with the nails, yeah?" Edward rasped, still not moving his face from mine. I heard a smile in his voice that I struggled to picture. But as I was about to apologise ashamedly, his mouth was on mine again and all thought disappeared from my head.

It was like he was insatiable, touching anywhere he could with as much vigour as he could. It wasn't like I was any different though. As he wrestled with my hips, I pulled on his hair. As he lifted me up so I was straddling him, I squeezed my legs around his hips. I gave as good as I got.

At no point was I thinking this was wrong or that we should stop. Because it didn't feel wrong and I knew I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. Everything I'd been saying about Edward and how uncaring and manipulative he was just didn't seem to factor into it. I was acting purely on lust and the feelings Edward was evoking inside me. All logic was gone. I was gone.

Edward released my mouth and was now attacking my throat mercilessly as small moans escaped my lips. His hand found its way under my shirt again and up to my breast, softly rubbing against the material of my bra. I was getting dizzy from the reactions of my body and I stroked his hair gently, ensuring he didn't stop what he was doing.

It wasn't until I felt the vibration in my trouser pocket and heard the sharp ring that we froze. My phone was going off.

His face snapped up so he was only millimetres away from mine; his eyes bore into mine as if he was watching every nuance and every detail of every expression. I closed my eyes though, sighing, knowing that I was about to be pushed away and sneered at. Knowing he was going to make it seem like all of this that had just been going on was only in my head. His soft breath washed over my cheeks and I heard him open his mouth to speak.

"Aren't you going to get that?" He whispered. I could barely hear him he was so quiet. My eyes snapped open in shock. His face showed nothing however, except the same deep concentration as he studied my movements. I released his neck warily, unsure of how to play this. Immediately he took a step away, maybe to give me some space to answer my interruptive and highly irritating phone.

I reached for it and saw it was Angela.

"Hi." I answered, with a slightly shake in my voice. Damn, must get that under control. Although it wasn't like Edward didn't already know what he did to me.

"Bella! Where are you? I looked all over the house and around the outside but couldn't find you. I'm going to drive Jess's car home as she's a complete state and I stopped drinking hours ago. Apparently things didn't go exactly to plan with Mike. Wait, did you leave?" Angela ranted at rapid speed, shouting over the background music. "Look I'm sorry I left you for Ben, I should have been more sensitive. I knew you weren't completely comfortable at the party. I really hope you'll forgive me-"

"Angela, stop! I'm fine. I'm err, still here." I didn't exactly want to divulge any more information than that. I looked to Edward, who suddenly looked very awkward. His hand was scratching the back of his neck as he continued to watch me cautiously.

"You're still here? Oh that's great! Where? I'll come and find you." I could hear her moving away from the party noise.

"NO! No, I mean I'll come to you. I'll meet you by the car in a few minutes". I glanced at Edward again, his brow was furrowed and he still looked incredibly awkward. I barely recognised him.

"OK, I'll say goodbye to Ben and see you there!" She hung up sharpish.

I wasn't sure what to do next. Edward didn't look like he was ready to shove me to the ground but he also didn't look like he was going to give me a kiss goodnight. He hadn't removed his eyes from me the entire time but the distance between us had now increased to a couple of metres.

"Angela." I stated, waving my phone pointedly.

Edward shoved his hands into his pockets, "Yeah, I heard." I wanted to slap my forehead for being so dense.

"Right. So I guess I better go." I said it but I didn't move an inch. I was willing him to say or do something. He'd hardly said anything since my loud rant, except to kiss me and tell me to watch it with the nails.

"OK." He muttered monotonously.

Still I didn't move. Seconds passed and we remained staring at each other, clearly waiting for something. Maybe he was just waiting for me to leave so he could breathe a sigh of relief. I definitely didn't want to stick around to be mocked and taunted as usual, not after what just happened. I had to make a quick exit.

So that's what I did. Without another word, I walked away and didn't even risk a look back. He didn't follow.

Just before I reached the car, I dabbed my face for any leftover tears or streaks of makeup. I wasn't ready for Angela or anyone else to know about whatever it was that was happening between Edward and I.

When I neared the car, I saw Angela waving to me as she rushed around to give me a big squeeze. I was immediately comforted and relaxed in her embrace.

"Are you OK? Where have you been? I'm so sorry again for- ". But I quickly cut her off before she could go off on one again unnecessarily.

"Don't worry about it, Angela. You didn't leave me, I pushed you towards Ben. And anyway all I did was go outside for some fresh air. No harm done." I smiled, lying through my teeth. Because boy was there some harm done tonight!

She smiled back though, not noticing, and when I got into the car I saw Jess passed out in the backseat.

"What happened with her?" I asked, leaning back in the seat to gently push what seemed like all of her hair out of her face.

"Well, she got really nervous talking to Mike so decided that drinking would help. It didn't. She ended up blurting out that he had "the best ass in the school, especially in that tight football uniform" and that she thought they should "have some after-game fun on the field" but only as long as he kept his helmet on. But before he could reply, she threw up on his shoes."

I gasped and couldn't help but smirk at the story. I then felt bad for Jess because I knew what it was like to completely humiliate myself in front of everybody. "Poor Jess. She's going to feel rough in the morning."

The struggle to get her up to her room quietly and without waking her parents was difficult. She woke up the minute the car stopped and obviously started rambling and raving about how traumatic the night had been. But after putting her scarf in her mouth, we successfully shut her up and dragged her up to her room where we put on her PJs for her and tucked her into bed.

As we lay on the floor beside her bed, I couldn't help but think back to my own traumatic night. In fact, it wasn't as traumatic as it should have been. Besides the horrifically cruel speech I made to Edward and his very odd reaction to it, it ended up being a pretty good time. I couldn't deny my feelings for him. It wasn't a soppy, swoony kind of romantic feeling. This was something different altogether. I now lusted after him. The passion in his kisses electrified everything inside me. It scared me to think that I wasn't sure I ever wanted him to stop kissing me. In reality, I wanted him to do a lot more than kiss me.

Oh god, this wasn't good. Yes, Edward hadn't tore me apart emotionally as he had done before and yes his demeanour seemed oddly sweet and awkward after the event but that did not mean he suddenly liked me. You don't have to like someone to kiss them (I've seen the films). For all I know, he didn't even find me attractive. He hadn't mentioned what I looked like at all and that was the best I've ever looked. Maybe he wasn't bothered.

But then…what on earth was that whole "Because you're here" comment about? He saw how upset I was; he saw the anger and confusion about him following me and antagonising me. His reason being: because I was there? Did that mean he followed me because he liked to taunt me or he followed me because he wanted to be near me? It was all too confusing. I swear I was told things were always much more simple than this. Guy likes girl, girl likes guy. Guy asks girl out, girl says yes. Guy and girl go out. Sounds pretty simple to me!

I was interrupted from my thoughts by Angela whispering my name.

"Bella, are you awake?"

"Yeah" I whispered back.

"I just wanted to know, did you have a good time at your first party?"

I smirked to myself. Bless, Angela. "Yes I did. Probably too good of a time."

"Really?" Confusion was evident in her tone, "Oh, well that's great. I'm glad you had fun. Night Bella!" Angela murmured before rolling over to sleep.

"Night Angela." Sweet dreams, I thought to myself. I knew I was going to have some sweet ones.

That Sunday was spent recovering at home in my own bed. I'd clearly consumed more alcohol than I'd thought I had and was paying the price. Not as high a price as Jessica had to pay. She woke up in a terrible state. Refused to talk to either of us and just mumbled and groaned in reply to anything we said. In the end, we left her alone and went back to our own houses to recover.

Charlie laughed at my appearance as I walked through the door. I could tell he knew why I refused any food and why I told him I was going to spend the rest of the day in bed. But I thought as Chief of Police and as my dad, he'd at least be a little bit upset that I'd gone to a party where underage drinking had occurred. I reckon he was just too pleased I was out of the uncommunicative, zombie phase and into the world of socialising to care about the logistics of it.

So that was how I spent my Sunday, recovering and making myself sick with worry about tomorrow. Mondays meant English with Edward. We never sat near each other but that didn't mean I'd be safe.

God, I acted like he was an attacker of some sorts. Although…I guess he was.

So when it got to that lesson before lunch I had no idea what to expect. I took my seat by the window and attempted to remain calm.

Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Edward walked straight in and straight to a table at the back without even glancing at me. Him being at the back meant that I couldn't look at him during the lesson without making it very obvious, which saddened me. Maybe he hadn't seen me when he came in. Oh who was I kidding? We were back to the usual avoid-at-all-costs-as-we're-in-a-public-place deal.

So I kept my head forward and tried my best to focus on the lesson Miss Rose was attempting to teach the rest of the rowdy class. I was sure I could sense somebody looking at me throughout the class though…

When the bell rang, I was first out of there. However on route, I made a furtive peep at Edward, who was surprisingly looking back at me. Instead of a sneer or a rude gesture (yes, he'd done that in the past), he just quickly looked down as if suddenly interested in the contents of his backpack. I frowned but continued my walk to my locker. That was odd.

Without even a chance to overthink it though, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Alice smiling broadly, her sparkly white teeth almost blinding me in the process.

"Hi Bella!" She virtually sang. I was shocked to say the least. I thought she was one of the popular kids and they don't tend to make a habit of talking to me. Well except for Emmett.

"Oh, hi Alice." I greeted suspiciously.

"I'm glad I found you. I just wanted to say thank you for listening to me rant on Saturday and for what you said. It helped a lot." She smiled and touched my arm softly. I congratulated myself again for being able to accept the touch without freaking out.

"You're welcome, although I really don't think I did anything! I was sure I was just drunk rambling…" I smiled back.

"Well if that was your drunk rambling, I can't wait to have a proper conversation with you!" She laughed. I was blown away by how nice she was. "I was the one who was in a silly panic about things. Which by the way, I didn't even need to worry about in the end!"

I quirked an eyebrow as I replied, "Oh, really? Why's that?"

"Because Edward came to me himself to talk. He told me he was sorry that he had reacted so terribly about Jasper and that in trying to be all protective over me, he'd ended up just hurting me and himself in the process. It was all very sweet! He said he'd isolated himself from everyone who actually cares about him and it was all his fault. He even smoothed things out with Jasper himself." Alice divulged.

I was taken aback. Edward had finally realised what he'd been doing to Alice and made a courageous effort to admit it was all his fault and apologise. Not only that, but he'd used my words from my rant to do so! Amazing.

"Wow." Was all I could say in return.

Alice smiled again and made an odd little jump as if she couldn't contain her happiness. Clearly the sad and dejected Alice that I'd come to recognise was not the real Alice. Alice was energetic.

"I know. I'm so happy now Bella, that Jasper and I can properly be together with Edward's blessing. We can finally be our close group again!" Out of nowhere, she leapt to hug me. I was almost knocked over by the force but I took it graciously and gave a small squeeze back.

"And listen, if you ever want to chat or just hang out, I'll be there. Because I really do owe you one!" She squealed. I had no idea why she owed me one but I was brimming with joy at the prospect of having another new friend. I was on a roll!

At that moment, Jasper popped up…he was as sprightly as Alice today, it seems. He put his arm over her shoulders, pulling her towards him and gave her a soft peck on her cheek.

"Hello lover, and Bella." He stated, making Alice swat him on his chest and me blush. I didn't know he knew my name as well.

"Well Bella, Jasper and I have to meet Rose and Emmett for lunch but we should get together sometime, hang out or whatever." Alice offered, giving me a short wave.

"Yeah all of us should. Emmett keeps saying how funny you are. You'll fit right in!" Jasper concurred as he steered Alice down the hallway.

I just stood there in shock, watching them walk away. What had just happened? Alice and Jasper wanted to hang out with me. Edward had apologised and clearly listened to what I'd said to him. Emmett thought I was funny. It was like an overload of information and feelings circling round me. What a mad day.

Thankfully, that was the extent of the excitement for the day. Well except for Jessica having a mini-breakdown in the ladies over Mike avoiding her. We tried to appease her, telling her that he was probably just as embarrassed as she was and that he'll talk to her again after a bit of space.

I didn't see Edward again, which I was glad for because I was sure he'd have ruined my day somehow anyway.

But then it was Tuesday.

Our Biology project sessions had been on a hiatus for quite a while due to the whole Edward not showing up anymore thing. I'd managed to continue with the project alone, but I was finding it difficult. I wasn't musical in any way and this was all Edward's idea.

But throughout the day, I was wondering if maybe he would show up this afternoon. There was something different in the way Edward was acting that gave me this hope. I was sure I wasn't being irrational. I noticed that he drove in with Alice in the morning as well as eating lunch with the whole group of them again. I watched how he threw fries at Jasper and laughed loudly when Emmett missed his chair, falling straight to the floor. I saw how he leaned in to quietly speak to Alice about goodness only knows what, with such intent and familiarity it was touching. I'd never seen him so comfortable and so…happy.

I know, I know. It sounds like I'm obsessing over him again. Well how can I not? The guy almost kisses the life out of me and I'm just expected to move on? Yeah right.

So there I was, at home, pacing back and forth in my lounge , just waiting. I am ashamed to say that I got changed from my casual school clothes into some skinny fit blue pants and a one-shoulder jet-black top. Just some of the new clothes Angela and Jessica had convinced me to buy. I don't know why I changed, I was sure he wasn't going to show up but I couldn't stop myself.

My pacing was halted when the doorbell rang. I went to open it cautiously and realised my hunch had been correct. Edward was again leaning on my doorframe (his usual stance) with a stickful of books in his hands and what looked like a guitar on his back. I couldn't stop my mouth from gaping ever so slightly. I never really thought he would actually come. Obviously I stood there a little too long as I heard him sigh dramatically.

"As much as I love to be ogled at, these books are pretty heavy. Can I come in?" I kept forgetting how he needed to be formally invited in.

"Err yes. Of course, come in." I stuttered, waving in the general direction of the lounge. He nodded as he walked past me and dumped the pile of books on the coffee table, taking his regular seat on the couch as he used to. I didn't know what to do, so I just parked myself down next to him with a large enough distance for me not to get all giddy.

There was an odd feeling in the air. You could cut the tension with a knife. Usually, I wait for Edward to say something condescending or derogative and I then ignore him pathetically while we try to proceed with the project. But after everything that had occurred, something was off. Edward wasn't saying anything.

I stole a glance to work out his actions. His hands were in his lap clasped tightly together as he tapped his feet up and down. I wasn't known for being familiar with all the regular human emotions but I could tell that Edward looked uneasy. I wanted to say something but I couldn't think of anything that didn't sound ridiculously lame in my head. God, the awkwardness of the situation was killing me! Someone needed to speak. Someone!

"You brought your guitar?" I blurted. I shouldn't have really asked it like it was a question because of course his guitar was right there in front of him. But I had to say something.

"Err yeah. I figured I'd been pretty absent from our project sessions and I maybe needed to contribute something." It seemed like a half-hearted apology but I was shocked that he was even here let alone making an effort.

"What did you have in mind?" I probed. He reached forward to retrieve his guitar out of its case.

"Well, I'm guessing you've done a lot of research on the plants. Playing music and such?" He glanced furtively at me as I nodded in reply. Of course he knew I'd done the lame bit, I was a Biology geek after all. "I thought that maybe today we could experiment with the human section of the project." Again he offered me an odd glance as if to gauge my reaction. But I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be reacting to yet, I had no idea what he was planning.

He reached into his bag and got out a black box with some wires. "This is a heart monitor. We can attach this to you and see how you react to different types of music." I eyes the wires curiously as I took it from him.

"And who have you stolen this heart monitor from? Am I an accessory to a crime right now?" I joked. Edward's face was a picture, he was clearly shocked that I could talk normally without shouting at him. But he smiled nonetheless.

"Dad's a doctor, remember?" I nodded in understanding. But I still had no idea how to work it so just held it in front of him questioningly. "Oh right. Let me help you."

He edged closer to me on the couch, our safe distance was no longer safe. My immediate reaction was to shift back. I could see his face contort slightly at my action nevertheless he took the machine from my hand and started to untangle the wires.

"OK, so we can pin the box here." He motioned for me to attach it to my pocket, which I did. "Then, err, these 2 pads stick onto your chest." Again he motioned for me to do so. I turned my back so he couldn't see down my top but as I tried to put them on, they wouldn't stick. I felt like a prize idiot and had to turn back around to Edward's inquisitive face.

"They won't stick." I muttered pathetically. Edward calmly took them from my hands and unpeeled something from the back of each pad. He then looked at me with unfamiliar innocent eyes.

"May I?" He gestured to my chest. I nodded and we both noticeably gulped. It was silly because his hand had been on my chest only a few days ago. I guess this was an entirely different circumstance after all.

His fingertips brushed my collarbone as he carefully pulled one side of my top down enough to expose part of my breast. My breath hitched as I felt the coolness of his hands gently press the pad to my skin. Unfortunately for me, our eyes met briefly and it sent an involuntary shiver down my spine. Which was noticed by Edward of course and he couldn't resist his trademark smirk. He secured the other pad, lingering for what seemed to be far too long until he finally moved away.

I was so glad the heart monitor hadn't been turned on yet, otherwise I would be highly embarrassed by the way my heart was racing from his actions. I had to calm myself down before I gave myself away. That would be a disaster.

I took deep breaths in order to steady my heart as he attached the final wire that led from the box to his laptop and turned it all on. I heard my heartbeat slow and steady and inwardly praised myself for achieving it. Edward gave me a curt nod before picking up his guitar.

The first tune he started to play was a very slow, sweet melody. He plucked each string gently with perfect precision and each note had a somewhat calming effect over me. I closed my eyes. There was no real substance to the tune, but I could hear my heartbeat on the monitor slowing and I smiled. Edward sure had a talent with music.

"Seems normal. Heartbeat isn't raised. Can you think of a word you would use to describe how you're feeling right now?" Edward questioned.

"Relaxed." I replied. Edward stopped briefly to write down some notes. He really was doing some work, just didn't feel like work to me.

The second tune was odd. It was off-beat and creepy. I closed my eyes again as he played but I couldn't stop the obvious shivers. It was a little frightening. I described that emotion as "Fear".

He picked up his guitar again and gave an quirky smirk as if saying 'you'll enjoy this one'. This time it was more of an upbeat tune, like one of those country square dance songs. This time my eyes were open as I smiled. Edward seemed to try to resist a smile but it crept up on him anyway. He started to tap his feet along to the music.

"Call your dogs and grab your gun, let's start dancin' and have some fun" He sung in a typical southern accent. I couldn't help but let out a small giggle at that.

"All jump up and never come down, swing your pretty girl round and round." He continued. This time my laugh wasn't small. He was really getting into it, slapping his knee and holding in a laugh.

"Ace of Diamonds, Jack of Spades, meet your partner and all promenade!" I was really laughing now. His accent was flawless and it was worrying how good he was with those lyrics. He finished on a classic end of dance note and bowed as I mockingly curtsied to him, naturally.

He looked at the laptop while I recovered from my giggling fit. "Slightly raised heartbeat, but not erratic. How would you describe the emotion?" The smile was evident in his voice as he wrote down some notes.

"Amusement." I answered. He eyed me suspiciously to make sure I wasn't making fun of him. I just shrugged my shoulders in response.

This time when he picked up his guitar, the smile wasn't on his face. He looked hesitant as he lightly touched the instrument. "The lyrics clearly had an impact last time, so I'm going to try something different for the next one."

I didn't like the way he said it with such trepidation, I was suddenly nervous.

The melody that escaped from his guitar was nothing I could put into words. His skill was insane. It was breathtakingly beautiful. My eyes slid closed of their own accord as he soon added lyrics to the music.

_I fell in love next to you_  
_Burning fires in this room_  
_It just fits_  
_Light and smooth_  
_Like my feet in my shoes_  
_Little one, lie with me_  
_Sew you heart to my sleeve_  
_We'll stay quiet_  
_Underneath shooting stars_  
_If it helps you sleep_  
_And hold me tight_  
_Don't let me breathe_  
_Feeling like_  
_You won't believe_

_There's a firefly_  
_Loose tonight_  
_Better catch it_  
_Before it burns this place down_  
_And I lie_  
_If I don't feel so right_  
_But the world looks better_  
_Through your eyes_

_Teach my skin_  
_Those new tricks_  
_Warm me up_  
_With your lips_  
_Heart to heart_  
_Melt me down_  
_It's too cold_  
_In this town_  
_Close your eyes_  
_Lean on me_  
_Face to mouth_  
_Lips to cheek_  
_Feeling numb_  
_In my feet_  
_You're the one_  
_To help me_  
_Get to sleep_

_And hold me tight_  
_Don't let me breathe_  
_Feeling like_  
_You won't believe_

_There's a firefly_  
_Loose tonight_  
_Better catch it_  
_Before it burns this place down_  
_And I lie_  
_If I don't feel so right_  
_But the world looks better_  
_Through your eyes_

_It's only been_  
_One night of love_  
_And maybe_  
_That is not enough_

_Hold me tight_  
_Don't let me breathe_  
_Feeling like_  
_You won't believe_

_It's only been_  
_One night of love_  
_And maybe_  
_That's not enough_

_Hold me tight_  
_Don't let me breathe_  
_Feeling like_  
_You won't believe_

_There's a firefly loose tonight_  
_Better catch it_  
_Before it burns this place down_  
_And I lie_  
_If I don't feel so right_  
_But the world looks better_  
_Through your eyes._

I had no idea what was happening when he finished the song, I was lost in my own world. I couldn't wrap my head around it. His voice was beautiful and his lyrics were so meaningful, yet their meaning was confusing to me. I wouldn't for one second believe that it had anything to do with me.

I risked opening my eyes, knowing my heart will have faltered slightly during the song. I saw Edward staring at me with big green orbs pouring into my baby blues. I wasn't sure what my face was giving away but his was filled with apprehension and was that desperation? When he saw me open my eyes he averted his back to the laptop screen and looked confused.

"Err. Well, heartbeat was elevated. Rapid pace consistent throughout, with moments of erratic highs. It's still pretty rapid…" He looked back to me as I tried to avert my eyes. As much as tried to conceal my feelings, of course the bloody machine was always going to rat me out.

"Does that mean you liked it?" He asked. He already knew my answer, so I didn't say it. The silence clearly frustrated him though as he moved closer asking again. "Bella, did you like the song?"

Again I didn't reply. I didn't know why he was acting like this. He was an absolute douchebag to me one minute, a silent passionate kisser the next, then talking and making me laugh and swoon as if he was someone completely different and hadn't treated me like shit in the past. My head was in a spin and I was starting to light-headed. But that was most likely due to the fact that he kept edging closer to me. I could hear the heart monitor on the laptop going crazy.

I went to move off the couch in an attempt to escape from whatever he was doing again. But he grabbed my wrist and when he hit the spot that got me every time, the computer made a loud noise that made it sound like I was about to flat-line. I turned abruptly as I found myself pressed knee to knee with his hand on mine. I knew I was in deep trouble now.

In a sudden move, his face was right in front of mine. He looked briefly towards the computer screen, quirking an eyebrow. He looked back at me and reached a hand to the underside of my chin, lifting it forwards slightly.

"I just want to test something". And then again, I found his lips pressing gently onto mine. It was feather light, I could barely feel him. But of course I could feel all the effects his kiss was having on me as usual. The kiss was soft and short and ended as he looked back to the computer screen, still keeping his hand underneath my chin.

He smirked, "Interesting." Then looking back at me, without a question in his eyes, he moved for my lips again. This time it wasn't as soft; it was hungry and heated. I found myself trapped underneath him as he leant over me, pushing my back down to the cushions. His hands were now on my hips, then stroking my ribs. I was overcome with lust as his fingers traced my every curve. I tried to return the favour as my hands stroked up his hard back. He sat up suddenly when he felt me. I was surprised and immediately worried I'd done the wrong thing, when he slowly reached for my right leg just under my knee and gently moved it around his waist. He went for the other leg excruciatingly slowly until I found that my legs were secured tightly around his waist.

His actions weren't clear to me until he leant back down and I realised we were now chest to chest, hip to hip, closer than ever before. I also found it a lot easier to stroke up and down his back and even started to scratch when his lips found my neck. I let out a whimper as his clever hands found themselves on my breasts, gently rubbing circles around the tender flesh through my top. As his lips found my mouth again, I was lost in a battle of tongues. I found my body responding to Edward without a second thought. I was suddenly grinding my hips into his and elicited the most beautiful of groans from him. I wanted to hear that sound more, so continued with my ministrations, moving my hands to his glorious head of hair that I knew he loved to be stroked.

It wasn't until his fingers graced the top of my pants and ran along the button that was keeping them secured when I suddenly snapped back to reality. Without another thought I pushed his chest gently with my hand to create some distance. As his lips were torn from mine his face held a multitude of questions. But when I didn't give him a reason he tried to lean back down to my neck. This time I really pushed him away so he was sat upright and I was able to shift myself away from being underneath him.

"What's wrong?" He asked. We were both still panting, catching our breaths. I looked at him, so tempted just to grab his neck and continue attacking his mouth, but I shook my head in defiance.

"This isn't right. None of this is right." I muttered, to myself more than anyone else.

"Felt pretty right to me." Edward said cockily. Instantly, I knew I'd made the right decision. He just didn't get it.

I just wanted to ignore all of this and run away: my instant reaction in these types of situations. Oh, who was I kidding? I'd never been in a situation that was anywhere close to this. Hence my reason for being a hermit all these years. I went to get off the couch, ensuring he wouldn't catch me again.

"I think you should probably go." I stated shakily. Because that wasn't what I really wanted but this was all getting pretty ridiculous. Didn't he still think I was a weirdo dork or something? Why did he keep kissing me?

"Bella," He moved off the couch towards me, but I took a step back. I saw the same grimace I'd seen before flash across his face. "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Everything is wrong, Edward. You just need to go." I didn't think I was ready to have a big talk about things, I didn't think he would even want to. But it didn't seem like he was letting things go easily.

"No. I'm not going until you tell me how you can be all hot and whimpering for me one minute, then ice cold the next?" The way he asked the question angered me. He made me sound weak again.

"I'm hot and cold? What a hypocrite!" I shouted. I could hear the heart monitor making the most irritating beeping sound so I ripped the pads from my chest and threw the device at Edward. "This is all just a game to you, including this piece of machinery."

"Oh so you're angry about our science project now?" God he was frustrating! He just didn't get it.

"You were testing me Edward and you know it. Another move in this sick game of yours, see how the little weirdo reacts to sweet music and passionate kisses. Oh her heart rate is off the scale! Well, there you go Edward. All the results are on the screen plain to see. You can go laugh about it with everyone else now." I was so angry, I couldn't help all my feelings blurting out. I felt disgusted with myself and needed to get out of there. I went for the stairs but Edward quickly blocked my path.

"You think this was a test to see what reaction I could get out of you? Come on, Bella, I don't need a computer to tell me what I already know." His voice was taunting but at my shocked face his suddenly dropped as he tried to stop me moving again. "No. Damn it, that's not what I meant. Bella, I know how you react to my touches just as much as you know what you do to me." He trailed off.

I stopped trying to get past him as I looked at him stunned. What was he going on about? He was more confused to see the lack of understanding on my face.

"Oh come on. You must know." But after not seeing any recognition on my face, his shoulders drooped. "You don't know. But how-" He suddenly grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest. "Do you feel that?"

I could feel his heart racing, almost as fast as mine did.

"I don't need a computer to tell me that you love this because I feel your heart go wild every time. You should have felt mine do the exact same." His voice was deep and sultry as he was all of a sudden breaking down barriers between us. My face blushed at his words but I couldn't let myself forget.

"You say that we both love this. What is this?" I'd done it. I'd asked the ultimate question: what in the hell was going on?

At this though, his previous openness seemed to close slightly. This was clearly a question he hadn't anticipated or welcomed. He stuttered before trying to talk.

"This is us. It just is. It's whatever." Of course he couldn't answer. His hand reached to scratch the back of his neck. A move he did when he felt awkward it seemed.

"It's whatever?" I questioned. I shook my head again. I would tell him my version of what it was. "How about I tell you what I think it is? This is a little experiment of yours; you're seeing how far you can push me before I can break. I don't know what you think you're doing but that back there on the couch…that was too far." I really couldn't stop my head from strongly shaking now, it was like I was trying to shake out all of these negative thoughts.

Edward was close to me again, but I could see he was still unsure of how to act.

"It wasn't too far, Bella. You can't deny what you feel. You can't deny what's between us. There's some kind of electricity that is just uncontrollable. I thought it was just exciting as first because it was only I who you let touch you. But since then, it's like I've craved it; waited for it. I don't think I can stop it." His hand was clasping mine again and I let him. Everything he was saying was true. There was a force between us that I couldn't deny. But that doesn't change how he has acted with me all this time, it wasn't right. I wanted to ask him what he truly felt about me. I wanted to ask him what his song was all about. I wanted to ask him what would happen next.

But for some reason I didn't couldn't. I knew that if I didn't tell him how wrong this all was that we'd end up getting deeper and deeper into this and at some point we would go too far to a place that we couldn't come back from. It took a lot of willpower to stop him earlier, one day I just won't. But I couldn't talk anymore about it because he was here. He made it clear that he wanted me and he was here. And somehow that was enough for now.

We didn't go back to the couch though. He did pack up his things and promised he'd write up the findings of the science experiment we'd done. Although I was sure it wouldn't come up with anything, just show how pathetic I was.

He gave me a long, languid kiss goodbye at the door but left without a single utterance as to what was next.

I knew that whatever it was was going to be a rollercoaster, with maybe just me along for the ride.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, another long wait from me. Sorry! But I hope you enjoyed it. This chapter was fun to write. I'm slightly unsure as to where I want the story to go next, obviously I have a plan but that plan might just change. Anyway I will try to update as soon as possible but knowing me that won't be as soon as everyone hopes it will be! Thanks for reading, please review if you can.**

**P.S. The song wasn't one I made up, it was Firefly by Ed Sheeran. I'm the ultimate fan :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...  
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.**

* * *

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I went to school the next few days after the last happenings with Edward. I had the stupidest of hopes that he would suddenly start talking to me in public, maybe even show some of that affection that I had seen at my house. I guess I thought that in some way he would be different. Maybe he would say hi when he saw me, or at least smile in my general direction as I passed by. I thought after what he'd said about the 'thing' between us, that he might behave a little differently towards me in public.

I had obviously forgotten the little comment about us just being us, being 'whatever'. It also must have slipped my mind that Edward is Edward and never has he ever said hi or smiled to me in public.

So I really shouldn't have been surprised when he walked past me today again without even looking in my direction. I shouldn't have been surprised when he avoided sitting anywhere near me in English. And I surely can't have been surprised that when Alice bounced over to me at the end of the day by my car, that Edward stayed behind by his car looking shifty.

I sighed dejectedly to myself but plastered a smile on my face as Alice hopped in front of me.

"Bellaaa" She sang, because everything Alice says comes out as a delicate, harmonious song note. "I hope you've not forgotten all about me, already."

I continued to smile at Alice but was unsure of what she meant.

"I don't think anyone could forget about you, Alice." I laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment and not an insult." She eyed me humorously. She surprised me however by taking my bag off my shoulders. "I told you, I wanted to hang out. And seeing as you're in no rush to invite me anywhere…" She eyed me again. "I'm inviting you. Everyone's going to this café down by the lake because football practice is cancelled. We go there all the time."

At that point, Alice started to walk away with my bag attached to her shoulder. I panicked however as she started towards Edward's Volvo…with Edward standing next to it.

"Wait! When you say everyone…" I shouted after her. But it was too late, she was already at Edward's car as others started to reach it as well.

"Hi guys, you all know Bella, don't you?" Alice questioned the group. Of course I'd already met Jasper and Emmett, there was a gorgeous blond girl I hadn't met but I knew that she was Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie. And then there was Edward…of course.

"Err, do I know Bella, Alice? Are you serious? I met her before you did so technically she's my friend to introduce." Emmett joked, as he rustled my head with his fist. An action I used to think would be my worst nightmare, now I felt quite warm inside.

"Oh so this is, Bella. Nice to meet you, I'm Rose." Rosalie stepped forward, separating me from Emmett and squeezing my shoulders. "I'm this beefy goon's 'girlfriend'. He's got more muscles than brains." I laughed as she said girlfriend with inverted commas as if it wasn't a fact.

"You wound me, Rose. I only have the highest of praise for you and your sexy bod." Emmett wound his arms around her body and I watched as she couldn't help but swoon.

"Yes, yes. We all know Emmett's appreciation for Rose's body. Can we move on please...Edward." Alice indicated for Edward to come closer.

I couldn't help but notice how when I came towards the group Edward had started to shift away and had now become conveniently interested in the wheel of his car as he inspected it. When Edward heard his name however, his shoulders noticeably drooped which made my heart plummet. When he turned to face everyone, he looked at anything but my face.

"Edward, this is Bella. Have you guys met?" Alice questioned innocently. Edward was shifting his feet awkwardly so I decided to save him anymore hassle.

"We're doing a Biology project together. That's it." I muttered. But my words didn't go unnoticed by Edward as he finally looked at me, eyebrows furrowed.

"Really? How strange, Edward you never told me you already knew Bella. And what's this about a Biology project? Is that where you disappear to some afternoons?" Alice questioned. She started to look curiously between the two of us. Edward just shrugged.

"Right, well, now that awkwardness is over…shall we roll on down to the café? I have a hankering for a burger." Emmett clapped his hands together as the others laughed.

As the others started to separate into the 2 cars, I wasn't sure what to do. I knew if I went Edward would be mad, like psycho mad, like he always is when he thinks I'm invading into his life. I tried to look at him to grasp his current set of emotions but again he was doing an excellent job of looking anywhere other than me. I took that as my hint.

"I can't go, I have other plans. Sorry, Alice." I mumbled walking to retrieve my bag from Alice. I know it was rude, but I couldn't go with them.

"What plans?" Alice questioned as I stopped in front of her.

"Just, umm, plans. With my dad. I've got to cook dinner for my dad." Which wasn't technically a lie as I did have to do that, just not for a few hours.

"Bit early for dinner isn't it?" Alice questioned again. Man she was inquisitive, couldn't get away with anything around her.

"He's…he's on the night shift tonight so has to get in a good meal first. I'm the dutiful daughter after all."

I reached for my bag but before I could get to it, Emmett had snatched it away from Alice and held it high above his head.

"Nope, I don't think so!" He yelled gleefully, waving the bag around.

"Such an idiot..." Rose muttered as she slid down gracefully into her car, clearly uninterested with what was going on.

"Come on, Emmett. I really do have to get back." I reached up once for my bag but realised it was no use and I would just end up looking like a little kid scrabbling for something my big brother had nicked for fun. This was essentially what this was…

"No. I want you to hang out with us, you're a laugh and we need that to counteract the moodiness of Sir Groanalot over there." He pointed in Edward's direction, who I could tell was starting to get a little mad at this show. Not only was I being sought after by his friends but he was also being insulted at the same time. His eyes had narrowed slightly and I could see his fists all bunched up by his sides, but he was still not looking at me.

"But my dad…" I tried weakly, but was interrupted.

"…can have one of the best burgers in town for his dinner when you take it home to him from the café." Jasper finished. Alice was clearly satisfied with his solution as she gave him a sweet peck on his cheek and a "good idea, baby".

I stopped my actions and looked at everyone. They all looked so eager to have me go with them, to such a minor thing. I couldn't really believe it. I was bowled over by it and for a brief moment, I forgot Edward was even there. Unfortunately in that brief moment I also ended up shrugging my shoulders and saying 'fine, whatever". And before I could come to my senses and take it back, I was being bustled towards the car. Edward's car.

"Excellent, you can go up front with Edward, I'll sit in the back with my one and only." Alice giggled as her and Jasper got in the back of the Volvo. My eyes darted to Edward's as he stood on the other side of the car. This time he was looking at me. I couldn't read his face though, his stare just sort of lingered as he reached for the door handle, but his mouth was straight. It was like _he_ didn't even know what his own emotions were. I decided to play ball though. After all if he 'craved me' like he said he did, then technically he shouldn't have a problem with this. Although it didn't seem like Edward was a very technical person…

I slumped into the cool leather seat, refusing to look his way as Edward started up the engine. I tucked myself closer to the door so I wouldn't accidentally touch him…that would probably make him mad. Apart from Alice yammering on in the backseat about something or other, no one else spoke. For some reason, I felt like Edward kept glancing in my direction, but I didn't dare to check by looking his way.

Finally, we reached the café, it was a nice little cosy place opposite the lake. I was thankful that the short but tense ride was over and I could exit the car as soon as we had stopped. We all meandered into the café, Emmett taking the lead, repeatedly shouting the word burger over and over again.

After all the fuss I'd made, I actually ended up having a really good time. They're all a very strange bunch of characters, but that's what I liked about them the most. Alice was obviously hyperactive but at the same time showed so much sensitivity towards everyone, really showing herself to be a great friend. Jasper seemed to suit Alice down to the ground. He was a lot more calm and with one small touch to her arm, she would still slightly and take a breath. It was like some sort of power he had. But even though he was such a gentle character, he was probably the funniest one there, non-stop jokes and banter.

You could tell where Emmett fitted into the group. Yes, he was burly and quite slow at times, but he was just so enthusiastic and optimistic…all of the time. I didn't even know that was possible. He could seriously cheer anyone up in heartbeat, even miserable me. And then of course there was Rose. Now her personality couldn't be more different to Emmett's. She was quite cutting and critical. When she spoke about some of the people at school, she said it with such a bite; it made me pretty fearful of her. But the way Emmett could work her, put a smile on her face in an instant was amazing. She was a no-shit kinda gal but I could see she had her softer side.

I was having so much fun despite the fact that I did feel like I was cheating on my other group of friends. But there's no harm in enjoying different people's company. Oh man, how I've changed.

Of course, having fun did not include Edward. He sat on the other side of the booth, far away from me (purposefully) and barely said a word the entire time. His face was so thoughtful yet so troubled, I had no idea what was going through that head of his. I didn't want to make it worse so I just ignored him and enjoyed myself.

When I looked at my watch and it read 6 o'clock, I announced to the group that I had to be getting home. This was the truth this time, even if I now had dinner sorted for Charlie in the shape of a delicious cheeseburger. They all grumbled and groaned but nodded and started saying their goodbyes anyway, promising another hang out soon. I bypassed Edward in the goodbyes and started walking to the door.

"Wait, Bella! How are you going to get back? You left your truck at school." Alice spoke up.

"That's alright, I can walk. It's not that far and I like to walk. See you later!" I continued to walk out; I didn't want to bother any of them asking for a ride. In reality, it was going to take me about 40 minutes to make it back to school but I really did like to walk.

I couldn't help but let my mind wander as I started the long walk back to my truck. Was Edward going to be mad at me after today? What would he do? When he's been mad before, it usually ends in a wonderful yet entirely stupid make-out session. But things had shifted between us last time; he was more open and not so cruel. Not that you could tell a difference from looking at us today.

I was deep in thought when I heard a revved engine by my side. I panicked as I saw the car slow down in my peripheral vision until I looked properly and recognised the shiny silver Volvo. Instead of stopping however, I carried on walking. Whatever he was doing was bound to be some part of his game so it was safer for me to be outside of the car.

But the car kept rolling next to me. I heard the window being rolled down but I continued to look and walk straight ahead.

"Get in." grumbled Edward, in a scarily low yet oddly seductive tone. It made all the hairs on my body stand on end.

But again, I knew it was safer to be outside of the car, so I continued ahead by foot. But Edward continued to drive along beside me.

"Bella," he said in a warning tone, "Get in."

Though his voice continued to shake me, I resisted and concentrated on something else in the distance. I knew I was pushing my luck now.

"You're being terribly rude, Bella. Get in the car, before I get out and drag you in." His dramatically low tone, put a stop to my feet this time and he stopped the car alongside me. I knew he wasn't joking when he said that and it would probably make things worse if I let it get that far. I really had no other choice now.

I hesitated once more but sighed heavily, opening the car door and anxiously sliding in with my bag between my feet. Edward started up the engine again and sped off, at full speed.

He didn't say a word but I could tell he was trying to control his emotions. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel and his feet were pressed roughly against the pedals as our speed rose. His face had that horrible blank expression that I had truly grown to hate as I could not read him and it made me very unsettled.

I could tell he was driving me back to school, so I'm not sure why I still had the feeling that he was going to take me to some deserted area and attack. There was still silence in the car and I was getting steadily more aggravated and worried, usually he would have kicked off by now. We had neared the school at this point but instead of dropping me off on the curb he drove me all the way into the car park and to my truck, which was the only one left in the place.

I didn't know what to say and I really didn't know what to do. He was still staring ahead, not looking in my direction which was basically the common theme of the entire afternoon. I sighed to myself and reached for my bag. As I opened the door and stuck my feet out, I turned back to him slightly.

"I'm sorry." I muttered and stood up out of the car. Shutting the door, I paced it to my truck, slinging my bag inside. But as I reached my own door, I was interrupted.

"Why are you sorry?" came Edward's somewhat hoarse reply. I guess that's how your voice would sound if you'd been basically silent for a few hours. I was startled but turned towards him. He wasn't close, he was keeping his distance. His eyes were now on me, for the first time all day.

"I've annoyed you." I mumbled. I didn't want to make a point of it in case it fuelled him even more, but he was asking.

"Yes." Edward stated, very bluntly.

"Well then, I'm sorry." I had no idea what else he wanted from me, so I turned away and continued to open my car door fully. I heard a scuffle and I felt him closer this time. But as I turned back towards him, he stepped back again.

"Do you know how you've annoyed me?" Edward asked. I was taken aback and confused by his question because it felt like he was asking me to state the obvious. But if that was what he wanted…

"I hung out with your friends when I knew you didn't want me to." I looked down at my hands. I honestly felt like a small girl being scolded by an adult.

"Yes." He stated again. I could tell he wasn't done though, but I wasn't sure where this was going to go. "And do you know why I didn't want you to?"

"Because you don't want me interfering in your life." I replied, a fairly obvious answer to his question. It did hurt to say it but I knew it was the truth. I really didn't want to continue with this conversation so I moved to get into my truck. However, I was stopped as Edward's hands pulled me back out and pushed me against the side of my truck. He slammed my front door closed, making me jump and close my eyes.

I could tell I had been bracing as if I was about to be attacked because when I reopened my eyes, he was a step away from me and his eyes were wide with shock. He blinked a few times, before taking a breath.

"No." He breathed. I was confused. Was he saying that he did want me interfering in his life? He suddenly looked less menacing as he looked off into the distance for a minute. When he turned his head back to me he sighed again. "You're wrong. That's not why I didn't want you to be there."

This time I asked the question. "Then why?" I was starting to fear him saying it was because the very sight of me repulsed him and he couldn't stand being reminded of what we'd been doing earlier in the week.

"Because you frustrate me!" Edward suddenly blurted out, hands balled tightly at his waist. "Because you can talk and laugh with them. Because you never smile with me. Because…because your innocence drives me mad!"

He had gotten a lot closer as he was speaking, or should I say, shouting. He'd just said a lot of different things that were difficult to comprehend. He had let go of a lot of emotions just then, mostly anger and frustration towards me, but also jealousy? I was speechless because this was not what I was expecting. Thankfully Edward continued.

"All I could think about this afternoon was the touch of your skin. I kept being reminded of how you felt underneath me and the sound of your heartbeat going out of control. All I could feel was your lips on mine and it was driving me insane." I didn't know how he managed to sound so seductive yet so angry at the same time. I had no idea I had this power over him, it can't be right.

Edward was staring intently at me now, eyes full of fire. He suddenly made a move to step forward again, but this time I reacted out of instinct, I drew back. His eyes automatically changed and were replaced with…sadness? He grimaced, like I'd seen him do before.

"Why do you always flinch every time I get close to you?" He asked heavily, suddenly looking like a small boy. But if this was him being honest, then I had to do him the same favour.

"You scare me." I whispered. That didn't seem to help the look on his face so I continued. "The way you make me feel, the things you do and the things you say, they all frighten the life out of me. I've been terrified all afternoon that there would be some horrible consequence for going along with your friends. You scare me."

I know it wasn't any comfort to him as I saw his face twist even more. But I was being truthful now.

"What did you think I would do?" Edward asked curtly.

"What you do every time: shout at me, cut me back down to size…kiss me." I said it so casually, as if those things were normal and that they made sense together.

All of a sudden he was there, his mouth on mine, pushing me back into the side of the truck. It was a rough kiss, passionate but not gentle. His hands were twisted in my hair as mine fell limply to my sides. However as soon as it had started, it finished. He suddenly let me go and stepped back. We both breathed heavily as my eyes adjusted back to normal.

"Well you were right about the last bit. I tried so hard not to do that all afternoon." He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck in his awkward stance I had grown to love. But my head was still all over the place if not more so now.

In our moment of openness I decided to test it once more. "When you said you were annoyed because I could talk and laugh with your friends and that I never smiled with you…were you jealous?"

Edward scoffed. Maybe I was being too hopeful thinking he might admit to something like that.

"I want to make you smile." He said quietly. He wasn't going to openly admit he was jealous but man was he starting to act scarily innocent and sweet.

"You made me smile when you played for me." I recalled his musical talents had me beaming.

"So you're saying I need to sing to you at all times in order to make you smile?" He laughed.

I couldn't help but blurt out. "You'd make me smile if you were nice to me."

Edward's face changed again for the umpteenth time that afternoon. He was now serious again and looking a little angry. He knew what I was saying was true, he wasn't nice to me. He showed lust for me but that was about it.

"I'm not going to hold your hand and declare my undying love for you in front of everyone if that's what you're asking for." He snapped. The key to that sentence was 'in front of everyone'. That was something I knew I would never get. That didn't mean I had to put up with his split personality.

"You can be so conceited, do you know that? Would just saying 'hi' to me down the hallways be just that bit too embarrassing for you? Would you be so ashamed to maybe ask how I am from time to time? I don't think general niceties are really that much effort, are they Edward?" I snapped back.

We were really letting it all out now. I waited for an onslaught of something but it never came. Edward moved closer to me again but this time he ran his hand down my arm and held onto my wrist very lightly. How did he always know this was my weak spot? He wasn't exactly holding my hand but it felt pretty similar. He didn't agree to change anything though. After a couple of minutes he spoke again.

"Don't forget, I did just give you a ride here and it is completely out of my way. That's nice." Edward protested, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Well I didn't ask you to." I grumbled, my resolve wilting.

It was similar to our last encounter. Nothing was really solved and I still had no idea where I stood, I just knew Edward felt a lot of things towards me; some good and some bad. Nothing ever made sense between us, I thought he was so hot and cold with me but actually, I am just as bad with him. I have the constant desire to slam myself up against him and attack his mouth with mine. While another part of me can't stand him, can't stand the things he does. But when we have moments like this, he doesn't even need to say a word, he just touches me and it all starts to float away. It was bizarre.

Just as last time, we said no more and that was it. He kissed me softly on the cheek and opened my door for me. I got into my truck and drove off, not knowing if Edward was going to act any differently towards me now, though I highly doubted it.

Luckily for me, I had a whole weekend to mull it over. Going through our various conversations again and again, inside and out, until I had them burned into my brain without any solutions. I know if I ever spoke to someone else about this, they'd just tell me to stay away. Edward clearly had problems, emotional and possibly psychological. But then, so did I. Obviously this meant that I couldn't stay away, I was far too attached now. The way he spoke about us and what he thinks about, matched my thoughts completely. I was in deep just as much as he was, so I guess I just had to ride it out now and see what happened.

I desperately longed to talk to someone about this, maybe Angela, maybe even Alice. But I knew they wouldn't understand and I knew Edward would kill me if I told someone about us. Whatever, us was. Oh right, I remember "It just is. It's whatever." as Edward so gallantly put it. Maybe I should just start to think like him. This is whatever, no big deal.

HA! Yeah right.

So my brain was in overdrive all weekend and I was exhausted. By the time it got to Monday morning, I was sick of my own thoughts and just wanted to get out of my head. I was oddly happy to have History first thing so I could finally give my mind a break from that boy.

However coming out of History sent my right back into the twisted drama. I was slightly spaced out as we'd just had a surprise pop quiz and mentally my brain was shot. I was aimlessly walking down the hall (now that I was mainly over the touching thing, I wasn't so stressed about the hallways), when I caught a glimpse of Edward in the distance. Obviously I couldn't help but catch my breath in my throat, he had such a way of winding me without even being near me. He was walking the opposite way and so was about to walk by me. I saw him clock me and a slight smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth. It wasn't until he was right up next to me that he turned his head to me.

"Hi." He whispered then continued on his way.

The cheeky bastard! I couldn't help but stop in my tracks as I watched him stroll confidently away. It wasn't until he was right at the very end of the corridor did he turn again and properly smirk in my direction. I couldn't help it…I smiled right back. I was infuriated that he'd used something that was quite sensitive to me in such a jokey manner. Yet I found it great at the same time. That was so Edward.

It didn't stop there, however. Alice had bombarded me at lunch and forced me to sit at her table apparently to make up for jetting off so quickly on Friday. I apologised to Angela, but she said she was happy for me to sit with others, I could see it was mainly because she was now able to spend one on one time with Ben without feeling bad for not including me.

As a plonked down at a table with Alice, the rest of the gang started to appear as well. I was distracted by a sweet display of affection as Emmett carried Rose's tray to the table and pulled out her chair for her. He was such a softie, but even I couldn't help but swoon. I didn't even notice Edward sit down next to me until I heard a quiet cough alerting my attention. I glanced to my right to see him setting out his lunch, extremely close to me. Once he saw he'd gotten my attention, he looked down at me and leaned in.

"So how are you, today, Bella?" He asked, very quietly so as not to get the attention of anyone else. The smirk was back and self-satisfaction was plastered all over his face. Douche. But again I couldn't help but smile at his attempts. This in turn, made him smile.

"Fine." I mumbled as I nudged his arm gently. Our arms stayed touching and I could feel the heat radiate between us. I was suddenly not so interested in my lunch.

After a couple of minutes of trying to concentrate on anything other than the feel of Edward's skin, I felt him lean down to me again.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt for you to ask me how I am from time to time. It would be nice…" He muttered, whilst taking a bite of his sandwich and trying not to laugh. Oh he was pushing his luck now. I think I actually growled slightly, entertaining Edward even more.

"How are you, Edward?" I forced out between gritted teeth. He was riling me up and he knew it.

"I'm just peachy, thank you." He beamed.

We didn't say anything more as Jasper dropped his tray down in front of us and started talking to Edward about Saturday's game or something.

Just then Alice started discussing after school plans to which I had to announce to the group that I had to have extra Chemistry lessons after school I was really struggling and I couldn't let it bring down my grade point average. I hoped Edward was listening because that meant no biology project sessions this week, about which I was pretty gutted.

"I thought you were clever though." Rose asked pointedly as she nibbled on a cracker.

"Well it's not hard to be cleverer than you now, is it Rose?" Jasper taunted his twin. In reply she crunched her cracker in her hand and sprinkled it over his head earning a laugh from the rest of us.

"I guess I just never got the hang of it." I said.

"Oh honey, Chemistry is easy if you're working with the right person." Rose grinned as she wrapped her arm around Emmet's elbow. "Comes naturally."

"Oh pass me a bucket." Jasper said, pretending to be sick.

"I don't think physical chemistry comes into play that much in the classroom, Rose. What you're thinking of could get you kicked out." Alice giggled.

"Of the state…" said Emmett, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Rose. Obviously she replied with a slap to his arm.

"I think what Rose is trying to say is that physical chemistry and classroom Chemistry is one in the same." Edward piped up.

I was surprised to hear him entire in a conversation, especially one that I was the subject of. However you can imagine my increased surprise when I felt his cool hand grace the top of my knee.

"Two materials with opposing properties," soft touch, swirling fingers. "Joining together," fingers sliding up and sliding inwards towards my thigh. "To create an intense reaction." Delicately tracing the inside of my thigh but not moving any higher. "It can be quite explosive."

I struggled to maintain steady breathing and ensure that my face didn't give anything away. But the others were looking at Edward oddly anyway.

"Alright…bit weird man. I think Bella knows where to go for help with her Chemistry now!" Emmett laughed as the others joined in. Boy, they had no idea.

Edward gave my knee one last brush of his fingers causing an involuntary shiver from me before removing his hand. I shouldn't have looked at him because before I did I knew he'd have that shit-eating smirk, and I wasn't wrong. Here I was, barely able to breath. That can't be fair.

I was suddenly snapped out of my Edward-induced reverie by a high squeaking noise from afar and I felt Edward tense beside me.

"EDDIE!" screeched the horrifying voice. Across the cafeteria I saw the blond figure marching towards the table, with a look of unadulterated anger strewn across her face.

I heard Alice sigh and turned to see quite disgusted faces across the group of friends.

"Fucking great. I'll be put right off my lunch now." Emmett muttered as he threw his pizza back onto his plate dramatically.

All of a sudden she was there, right in front of Edward and consequently right in front of me.

"EDDIE! Where have you been?" Tanya screeched once more, causing myself to recoil slightly.

Edward was still rigid, but the grimace on his face was obvious to everyone that he was not looking forward to this confrontation.

"Tanya…hi." Was all he mustered up.

"Hi? Fucking hi?! That's all you have to say to me? You've been avoiding my calls, ignoring my texts and all you have to say is, HI!" Tanya wailed.

"Do you have to shout so loud, Tanya? I'm right here, I'm right in front of you. See?" Edward winced, clearing out his ears dramatically, causing the group to stifle a giggle.

"Well, Edward, you've not been 'right here' for a long time. In fact, you've been nowhere! What's wrong with you? Where have you been?" She had lowered her voice, now wary that everyone in the cafeteria was watching this scene with glee.

"I've been around, I've been busy. It's no big deal. Look, why don't we talk about this later?" Edward appeased, also wary that everyone including me was listening. I wasn't entirely sure of what was happening, I'd been so wrapped up in Edward land that I'd completely forgotten that Tanya existed.

"Later? You mean when you can dodge my calls again? Yeah right, Edward. I'm not stupid." To this, I heard Rose snort out loud not even bothering to hide her amusement at the statement.

"Got something to say, bitch?" Tanya turned her attention to Rose, hand on hip, ready for a battle.

"I've got plenty to say…" Rose pushed her tray away and attempted to get up but Emmett held her down.

"Listen, Tanya, leave it now and I'll call you later. I promise." Edward relented but I could still feel him extremely tense beside me. I was confused as to why he felt the need to call her after this random and erratic show.

"You better had, Eddie. You don't like seeing me upset, do you?" Tanya pouted. Edward shook his head as Tanya swiftly started beaming. Talk about bipolar disorder… "I knew you didn't. Fabulous, well I'll talk to you later then sweetcheeks." Tanya quickly turned on her 5-inch heel and sashayed out of the cafeteria.

The rest of the gang started to laugh freely now.

"Yeah sweetcheeks, you better not forget to call!" Jasper mocked femininely as Edward threw some fries at him.

"You should have let me at her Em, this manicure wasn't sharpened for just anybody." Rose said, baring her claws like a weapon.

"Oh I know you could have taken her baby, but I enjoyed watching Edward squirm too much." Emmett chuckled, nudging Edward's shoulder.

"Leave it out now guys, will you?" Edward mumbled. I saw him glance at me warily but I soon looked away. I was suddenly becoming quite uncomfortable and I wasn't sure why. It might have been the screechy Tanya performance but then I might still be a little frazzled from Edward's under the table touching. Either way, I felt the need to leave.

"I've got to get a book from the library for next period. I'll see you guys later." I stood up abruptly and strode off, without allowing them to utter a word.

Whatever this feeling was, I didn't like it. I went to get some fresh air to help shake it. Before I could even take in a breath, it was being pushed out of me as I was shoved roughly up against a wall in a small alcove. It was Edward….of course.

His mouth was on my neck as his hands gripped my hips, pushing me deeper into the wall and then grinding against me with his whole body. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips but quickly snapped my eyes open to check if anyone was around. I mean this was crazy. We were still at school! But I noted that we were in a shadowed spot near the library where no one ever went at lunchtime.

"E-Edward." I gasped as his hands rubbed along the small of my back and under my top. "Y-you need to s-stop." I stuttered, really struggling to get my words out.

Edward ignored me as his mouth removed itself from my neck and latched onto my mouth. This sensual kiss accompanied by his increasingly needy hands was making me go crazy, I'd never wanted something so much as I did Edward right then. His hand went to my right breast, brushing my nipple through my bra as I groaned into his mouth and pulled on his hair roughly.

Our actions were halted hastily by some laughter in the distance. We were immediately bought back to reality and I quickly pushed Edward firmly away from me so he stumbled slightly. Though his eyes were dark, he had a goofy smile on his face that I couldn't help but smile back at, at first. But then I remembered what had just happened.

"Edward, what were you thinking? You can't just pounce on me in school! Someone could have seen us; a teacher could have seen us!" I ranted, attempting to straighten my clothing but still feeling incredibly hot and bothered.

Edward laughed and stalked closer again, "Hmm, you think that's pouncing? You haven't seen anything yet, little one." He closed the gap between us but I slapped his hands away.

"Oh come on, Bella. You can't tell me you didn't enjoy the thrill of getting intimate in your most treasured place of education. Are you saying you didn't enjoy my hands on you under the table at lunch?" He whispered close to my ear. "Are you saying you would have hated feeling my fingers move slightly higher up, dangerously touching a certain sensitive spot?"

I felt myself shiver as his breath crossed my neck again. Honestly I would have loved that, but I tried to snap myself out of it and remember why I was aggravated.

"Yes I would have hated it, if Tanya showed up again." I felt myself say. I didn't really know why I bought her up into this kind of conversation; I guess I hadn't had time to shake my previous weird feeling before Edward leaped on me. It took Edward by surprise too. The name made him draw back slightly and eye me curiously.

"Now, now, Bella. You're not _that_ girl are you?" he questioned. But I didn't know what he meant by 'that girl'. "You're not going to go boil a bunny and act like a psycho now are you?"

He thinks I'm jealous…maybe I am. But he acted as if he was disgusted by my behaviour. HA! That's rich. I couldn't think of what to say to him that didn't completely embarrass me more, so I just shoved my way past him. Of course, before I could. Edward pulled me back into him so I went straight into his chest. I tried not to focus on the muscles I could feel rippling beneath my hands.

"I wouldn't blame you of course…" he started but as I tried to remove myself from him once more, he stopped. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry, Bella. I couldn't help it…a small touch under the table just wasn't enough. Hell, this wasn't even enough!" He laughed and I reddened at the thought of what 'enough' actually meant to him.

"And after hearing you couldn't do our biology sessions this week…man, I just reacted on my gut feeling and hey presto, here we are." Edward shrugged. It was just that simple for him: feeling and reaction. Oh to be a boy!

I just shook my head at him but in a 'typical you' kind of way so he knew I wasn't mad. Because I really wasn't mad, everything he wants: I want as well. Obviously, I was taken aback by it being in school but I'm finding it harder and harder to push him away. And when he says he wants more of me. Well damn, that just gets me fired up even more!

I decided to follow his lead and act on my instinct. I'd not kissed him before, he'd always kissed me. So that's exactly what I decided to do. I reached up to bring his head down to me and gave him what I hoped was a slow and steamy kiss. I was pleased that when we parted his mouth was agape and his breath had shortened.

I stepped away and reached for my book bag which I guess had been slung off in the heat of the moment. In a brief moment of kindness, Edward got there first and picked it up for me. He slid it onto my shoulder and whispered into my neck.

"Kiss me like that again, Swan, and you'll be in for a whirlwind of trouble." My breath caught as a smiled to myself. I started to walk out of the shadows but not before hearing Edward say, "Don't think this is the last time we do this here."

I waved dismissively behind me without looking back but inside I was shaking with anticipation for our next rendezvous.

* * *

**A/N: So I hope you liked this next instalment of the on-going Bella and Edward over dramatic saga that is their story! I had this chapter written a couple of months ago but for some reason had forgotten to post it, idiot. So will hopefully be able to write another one this week and actually remember to post it. Thanks for reading and please review if you can, so I know if I'm on the right track or not :)**


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